Narcissism aur Nagawar!

Following post is work of satire, done to support our too-overly-proud friends.. we love you!

 

In this land of pure, you wake up every morning to fight with your fellow countrymen. Kuin kay kahi koi aap ko easy naa lay ley(so that no one takes you for granted) . Your breakfast represent the type of aggression you are going to put up. The mogul in your flesh is gonna put the BBQ on coal to every irritation, as it is some gasoline to fire.  Mind you, we are lesser mortals bearing numerous allergies, many acquired off recent happenings. That means, you can make me laugh on a joke yesterday and offend me for no reason off same joke today. 

Bahi mein dushmandaar banda nahi hou… par har kisi ko meray say koi masla hai(Dude! I am not a someone to put up a fight but everyone seems to have a problem with me). So, is it me or is it you? Everyone out there is in pursuit of holding grudges and get hold of them as soon as possible. At times, I just wonder how can I save myself off such frequent fall from the nazar(grace). Its impossible even if you give up your so-called integrity and be an all out people appeaser. It’s a mine field and you have way too many legs to save.

Every human seems to be like playing God-like size ego. The ambition seems to fall short of eternity of mortality and incapacity to understand the futility of such prowess. Hence, come the rage and the sensitivity to the feeling of failure to derive off authentic praise and respect. Bahi khud bhi zaleel ho aur khuahish dosaro ko zaleel karwanay ki hai(Dude! you are already humiliated and are wishing to get others humiliated as well). So, when your lack of success gets yet another recognition by you, its lunch time. Now, you can eat up your depression, with some oily curry emulsified with herbs and spiced with reality. 

By this time your job timing is off or your classes have ended, or whatever. You, pick up your battered self and look for some consolidation prize but alas, karki pari howi hai(poverty has struck now), times are hard, you are all on your own. 

So now you head home, reflecting on the day's debacles and fall-outs. Sit somewhere that gives you the nostalgic feel. Take a cup of brewed coffee or decocted green tea or milk tea, add some sugar, as per required. Do some self-talk. Make the punctured-flat ego, fat again!

If this is not enough for the narcissism of the day, call a close friend of yours and uss ki ahtema rool dou(shake the hell out of their spirit) by complaining about the 'nothings'. Make them embrace the world from your eye to the point kay uss ko bhi aap ki aaj ki dunya nagawar duzray(even to that person your today's world seem pervasively noxious). 

At last, when you are satisfied with sharing the burns with your society, go to sleep. Wake up to a new morning with the same ambition, belief and ego! The inferior world awaits you! Good luck!

P.s. If the world does not live up to your expectation, then remember this title of an old Pakistani film.. 'very good duniya(earth) very bad loag(people)' make it a tagline of you life... because its not you, its them.

Honour aur Himakat

A girl who is a daughter, is hope of a family, is the fight of decades, time can be the only historian who can tell what struggles culminate over the period of several years. If you are not in-lined with the lives of the common man you have to understand, life is a strange and bittersweet roller-coaster ride. In there, you shall find, the space for a whirl pool that is constantly in motion, in an abstract way, its the balance of given space. It is this, the girl.
As children of this society, we look up to our elders for wisdom. And because of this, nothing shakes our confidence in them than the very absence of that wisdom.
We had an academy award winning director covering the topic of honour killings and shedding a much needed light in to its roots. Laws have been generated through brainstorming. High profile celebrities have been victims of this. Yet, it fails to end its streak.
I may be an educated person, to know whats wrong. Else, if too educated, would have quoted Descartes, and emphasized to comply with the norms of society. But, may be I am too educated to be indifferent to either side. So, nor do I believe in honour neither in love, but all I believe in, is sanctity of life. I believe in peace knowing that this world is build on chaos and has been in it for ages.
Thank goodness, this media of our does not represent our society, which is hideous as it already is. Intolerance, undetected, has settled down in our rows, and will grow ever stronger world wide if the trends are to be believed. The sickness will grow ever so strong and the ways of man will change for the worse. The only real enemy here, is our 'ego'. Ironically, it is core of the current versions of love and honour.
The truth is that these are nothing but himakat and nothing else.
Society is already too decomposed and the macabre reality partakes it down the drain.
P.s. To start curing this disease, a mass psychiatric evaluation is needed. This will lead to diagnosis and then... only then... we can look for submission of its exact cure from the experts!

Depression aur Danishmandi!

The following is work of imagination that finds a lot of real life comparison
Study, my friend, is that love interest that never gives in. The one, you literally 'Try' to love, with all your mind and force your heart into it. But even then, it manages to make itself predictably, boring and dull.
My question here is: When you know, that you have spent 18 years of your life, running after the same bus, whats the solution?
The trouble is, your doubts over 'are there any solutions'?
May be one just tend to be a natural at it!
Dunno!
The consistent failures to love-your-academic-responsibilities has pushed me in this well of constant stress and apparent depression. Now folks, if you experience or empathize or relate to a heart ache in mirza sahiba kind of a story or a mann mayal like, I can understand that! you can understand that! This is because it is the 'usual' and 'normal' kind of heart's emotional pain. But, study's capacity to manoeuvre such peace altering skills is spellbounding and unexplainable, bewilderment.
What's worse is when people expect you to be a world class researcher by this time. Beta ap tou 18- 19 saal say parh rahay hou, ab tou aadat ho gayi hogi.. Yes! I am habitual but not about studying but running away from it.
And why not!? I mean what really is the image of these so-called helms/powerhouses of intellectual production aka universities? well, to be honest, it has nothing to do with neither brainstorming on original ideas nor objectivity of pursuing knowledge, but everything to do with mortal infatuation towards the affinitive species and the act carried out in line of sure ambitions, to attain the sacred bliss. This, in other words is called kutakhani according to our righteous teachers and pyaar-va-yar by our fellow mortals. So, it is all so evident that the apple can not fall far from such sort of tree!
Saying that, I don't mean myself as the contestant of this ubiquitous game, instead i am that apple that has been held mind air.
So whatever I do! These realities do not help my stakes, which keep on getting high, unchecked, unmonitored. By the time, I realize the ever-so-familier 'impending doom' I dive a bit deeper into this depression, nonetheless. 
This is not a class act, and survival from the last does not make me stronger for the next level. Just more familiar and a kind of deja vu-ish, to remember the last. My reflexes have now start twitching in anticipation, on what is to come.
In these ever so testing times when my parents want me to become a 'responsible citizen' and my teachers want me to become 'responsible researcher', all I see myself is becoming 'responsibly depressed' and eagerly wishing to become 'remarkably indifferent'.
The one medicine that had kept way my ever-so-expected, fall off-the-cliff, were my friends, but even they, like any other life saving medicine in this country, are far from reach or short in supply and any substitute is time and effort consuming, not to mention the risks and costs.
So here lies the runner-up of all trades!
P.s. ab koun uthay, phir say dil laga kar parhay, koi to rok lo...... yeh danishmandi ki galiya, in may phir say koi aur aye ga, aik din zaroor aye ga, par aaj nahi, ab himmat nahi yar - Ranjhanna MPhil

Darkness aur Darna!

Disclaimer: the following post is a requital for the last masla-typo blog post... it is a return of the DARK SIDE! very very dark!! so brace yourselves, you just might wake some inner demons of yours.

The night was in, the life was dark. The time was stopping. The hopes were sailing away. I wish in times like these I could rescue my own soul. For when you wait for messiah, and lifeline, you are so in the mist of hanging in the sea, knowing nowhere to be.
So while I sit here in this high room from where I can look over the rest of this Capital city. There is no shred of any oversight, just despair. There are no rocks. The empty space inside is composed of the void that had to be created and it was an idea whose time had come. Pain my friend, I found you again on my side, dancing in this space with me.
Life was what I perceive of my own existence. It’s as hollow as the rainy day that arouse no emotion, that sunset that attracts no praise… its sadder than a survival run. And of this life, in its mysterious ways is so sarcastic, makes your losses a win and that win a loss, all lost in relative improvisation.
So, now while I sit in this room wondering about my life, the idea! It is not water, fire, dust or air, it is what it is, something I can’t fix in a bottle or possess in my pocket. I am its disciple. My desire is happiness and that my peace’s enemy. So I chose the darkness that leaves me with no hopes and lesser side effects.
Do I figure out my struggle? Oh believe me, there is a struggle! Always. It’s the monotony that I follow. Some night drive on empty roads, the moments abandoned by the rest of the society. I choose them, it is my specialty. It is a miserable sea, but the sail is mine, it is what I ‘like’ to be.
So, when you read this weird summary, a gross generalization, know this… I don’t expect anyone to comprehend or follow the logical chronology that is surely going to go unrecognized. It is a fate that I know already. Though, maybe, on some sentence, some level, we might connect to some extent.
So when I am going to end this, I write with no intent to defend. The reaching out the in world process is far out of my capacity to bear. While the world dissolves around me, there is nothing to be. Believe me I don’t care, I just can’t. I am sinfully indifferent, even to my own bland destruction.
 
p.s. reflecting on your existence is part of your individuality..
but to end on a positive note, remember in darkest of time, 
batti jalana na bholay! shamjdar kay liye ishara hi kafi hai! Darna mana hai!

Honeymoon Aur Huma Mobin!

The girl who took internet by storm for turning a prospective tragedy into epic troll saga! Inspiring na!
Source: facebook.com/Outsidegirlpk

Ok heres the thing. We all have come to know of this young married feisty girl from Karachi who has become an internet sensation overnight, coverage hailing from BBC to 9GAG, by which I mean she’s like all over the internet! Self caught in the acts of remorse over going on her honeymoon to Greece… ALONE!! This girl puts up the most romantic outcast showcase of her protest for her husband’s visa rejection. The feedback has come from all over the world… Starting from her character questions (mostly subcontinent), the ethical angle of caving into the husbandless honeymoon(again subcontinent), the ridiculity of going on such trip with her in-laws(mostly gora (Western/Europeans) people)?
Now, the girl, Huma Mobin, did come out in her explanation. What started as the Facebook share of a butch of holiday pics, turned into grilling-fest of horrendous remarks and alleges, post fame and highlight. Not to mention the memes. Huma nay to aag hum sab ko aag laga di hai! (Huma has set us all on fire!) 
In this process she made herself clear of few things:


1.    Its not her first honeymoon
First thing first, she had spent her first honeymoon with her husband, in Maldives and Dubai. So, don’t go all ‘HAWWW HAAYEEEE’('Oh my')-remark to something seen as scandalous- on her, as if she bailed on him, over very first sacred adventure. She bares no such blasphemous actions.
2.    She had planned a family package tour to Greece
Here we have an In-Laws loving eastern girl, a rare breed in herself, who takes her loved ones on the second honeymoon/travel adventure. This shows her enthusiasm and compassion, for traveling and her fellow travelers. So she did have chaperones, while complying with the eastern values, you know!
3.    There was an awful lot of CASH spent
And don’t we all know how much money goes into buying these tour packages to Europe. One must be crazy rich to give it up for nothing on a whim. So when you have grand amount of Quaids banking on a trip, it's a bad omen to let them down. YOU GO GIRL!!
4.    She had not anticipated her husband’s visa rejection
Then, comes the case of Mal-intent, well, she did not anticipate a rejection of visa, specifically not her husband's. Ironically the only doubts she had was hers, as she was ‘less traveled’.
5.    The Greek embassy’s lack of communication
The reason of visa rejection, being quoted, was the failure of Greek embassy to be able to contact the referrals submitted in visa application. So, all in all, it was a tragedy that needed a saving with a sweet ending. And don't we all relate to the pain of visa rejection, people. Show some unity here!
6.    Ja simran jee lay apni zindagi (Go on Simran live your life)
And while everyone on the internet who come from an oppressed place and bares an oppressed soul, blames her for leaving her husband in all this mayhem… well, it was him, her husband, who rise up to the occasion and said ‘Ja simran jeelay apni zindagi’ (Go on Simran live your life)-movie reference for freedom of girl in love- and thus, raised the bar for nice men in this country where misogyny is a well accepted norm.

So to be honest, in my sixteen years of internet, I have not seen such good publicity in my life time, in terms of whats trending globally related to Pakistan and not to forget, the much need depiction of the humans that live in this country. Although I have no right to say something positive about Huma, according to the current wave of internet brutality norms (pun intended) but here you go …. I am Proud of you Huma Mobin and, wish you and your husband, all the best for your future traveling adventures, may your visas never get rejected. Amen. 
P.s. and remember.. jalnay walay ka mou kala! (one who gets jealous has oneself disgraced)

Loss aur Likho apni kahani!

the tale of 'The Lost Faith in Mist of Living True to Yourself'
Join in on the factors of thinking the time shall be on our sides but you will be betrayed. Don’t worry, in this life, you have seen it before and you shall see it again. I am Life and I possess my own death, that I keep on seeping into the main bloodstream. I have aspiration that I cherish till the day I have to kill. These are the sacrifices that I have to make to get by.
What are the perceptions that will have their toll on the grown up; The pressure to be loved, to see your life worth the effort. Now you believe it. What options did you really have?!
The fact is the life is relative under pressure of constant comparison. I have to see my strengths, something beyond SWAT analysis. The reality is not someone’s property but you and I have to buy one’s own reality, on a lease. The day you lose your confidence, is the day you lose your reality. Try to get a new one, in this ever changing world.
I for most, have to look at what I do best. Kindda where have I spent most of my time… worrying, over-thinking… cant get a career out of them can i?!! But I, in silence, can work on the professional skill and expertise, with the literature I bought out of excitement.

All in all, I have the opportunity to live a life no one can afford to live. The life of a stoic. Now, I am not talking of the real selfless one, more like the one who has no other option, it is the hypocritical option. Bahi apna level hi bohat high hai, aur apni league to championship hai aur apni khawahish premier league ki Norwich whose preference is that of the standard of Manchester United or Liverpool.
While you prepare, you don’t have a warranty, life can shake and stir at any time, go out into thin air, disappear – WHOSSHH – gone! Just like that!
So dude! Apni tou life ki watt lag giye hai! Kiya bananay nikalay thay aur kidher aah gaye…
The jack of most trades has to stick to his survival and grab hold of his attention span. Work his way out the midlife blues, and I am not even married yet and people so easily get on my nerves lately. Better get more sleep from now onwards.
This or that …. The English team is out of Euro as expected. Proud of this remorse over the inability English football team’s of achieving its potential, much like the reflection of my own life... Aab tou aadat si hai m******* ki!
DAMN LOSS!!
And as far as current political instability, home and away, is concerned, I hate talking politics nowadays, either I am too aware now of my awareness or my dumbness or both! Or the world is too much of a beautiful chaos!
So my friend, enjoy life while you can.
P.s. dil ki darkan say likho apni kahani… jhoomo reh … hahaha … Noori song on the air!

Report Card aur Ramazan!

Excitement in life is like McDonald's cheesy potatoes balls.. at first it seems all-tasty cheese filled crumcoat, but 3 to 4 bites down they loose the impact and taste like nothing but meshed potato.
Just gave one more bit of my exams, yet again. But I am not here to talk about the remorse of the same old shitty experience that one feels like running away from. What I am going to talk about is what it did to me. 

I am not opportunity-less man. I am bloody high on being lucky and near escapes. But to me its about getting to my potential, its more of what comes from the package of individuality, and not giving a fu*k about what the crowd identifies itself as or with.

My ever changing perception, evolved once again. Learning: Life is not about this shit or that shit, its the food mess where you always get served. So, you better develop a taste, or just get to extremes of liking food at highs and hating it on lows. It wont give you either pain or comfort, it will be what it is. 

You live in a world constructed to be at peace, but is growing intolerant ever since. Its a regression to towards the nature; miser, selfish and violent. So, if I feel passionate to save lives, it seems noble to me, especially, where life is about grabbing the objects that you fancy. To die, live and then die, for them, is all that takes over. 

In this overcrowded, intolerant and insecure society, which is at the same time compassionate, resilient and family-oriented, we are herd of desperate animals rebelling against each other. We want heaven and earth, all to ourselves, while we don't know shit.  

As, I discussed vehemently in my previous blogs.. now its proven that Pakistan's biggest obsession is MARRIAGE... getting an opportunity to consummating marriage, get hell bent on saving it in the long run and in the end, brag about cherishing its frights e.g. status of being a 'responsible' member of society, etc.

But my goal here is try to understand the bigger picture. 

Firstly, one derives strength from ones' race, gender, social and financial status of your parents, ethnic background and infrastructure around. Then secondly, the factors leading toward the kind of education you get from the schools and universities deemed fit for oneself, the 'Iyashi' opportunities one can afford, and then the two acting upon each other for the kind of job you wish to find. Alas, you are inhibited by the society due to their set norms and perceptions, your monetary restraints and life itself, with its mysterious serving of the same-shit-every-now-and-then. Thirdly comes, the epitome of one's life, the report card of your life, the thing! FAMILY, initially you have to get married to have one of your own!! work to keep it, and fill it with children, while you can and at the end get away with the credit of having 'the great learning'.

Feminism, an important part of today's culture, I hail it! though it was chained and shackled by one's personal and family reputation, prospects of harassment,  and opposition from our indigenous traditions. While the men on the other side, were facing lesser evils of falling in to inferior company of lesser intellects, drug access, immorality, and physical beating as a result of being overly expressive. Though, both girls and boys, can still decide, to great extent toward their education and job, but they don't get a 1/3 of that support when it comes to marriage. This is how grave it gets. And if ever you are none compliant, you are dead!

Now, sitting in this wicker chair, sipping my americano that tastes like a jalli-huwi coffee, still managing to make it up with the bitterness that I as of recently related to my life, is what life is serving tonight anyway. I for now will keep on pushing to improve my life and my understanding, so should anyone enlighten enough to realize all this, should too.Though, its Ramazan, I do wish for a pakora, but the coffee house is too cool for that, wonder what life thinks!

p.s. Saal kay 11 mahenay hum coffee pay nahi aisay martay, jese iss ramazan kay mahenay mein hum aik Pakoray par martay hai!!

Pebbles aur Pashtun!

So we are now overgrown children. Still picking petty fights. Running away from taking responsibility for our actions. Not doing the right things.... Well, don't get me wrong. I 'likes' this. The thing is, like many others, I do what really 'feels' good. hum feelings lenay walay log hai...
Let me explain it. If I have 3 research articles to read and there is a Game of Thrones novel on the table. My choice or bad choice, I'll pick GoT anytime! Its better escaping into the land beyond the wall, than the lab beyond-the-facilities-you-could-ever-imagine-to-be-in-your-institute (it's simply too depressing).
Thing is, it's not bad to be an overgrown child either. Because you too have a dream and a potential to achieve it. In this ever changing world, your peers might not understand your 'feeling wala behaviour', what matters is that you do believe in it. See the positives in your society.
So, the other day I was at a traffic signal on Kashmir Highway in Capital. There, I saw this shaven head pashtun child of about 7 years of age, wearing a grey-green shalwar kalmeez, which seemed to be washed a week ago. He was sitting at the corner end of 'the green' divider. And the kid had a few pebbles in his hand that he used for aiming at the traffic signal pool.
To my surprise he was pretty good at it. As he swung his hand from a lower angle and release the pebble, it struck the iron work at 3 meter reach, full toss!
What amazed me more was, down under this sunny day and dry breeze, all by himself, the kid took some 'feeling' out of this game of striking pools with pebbles.
What I just illustrated in almost 5 lines, actually happen in 5 seconds.
As the cars stopped at the signal. The kid dropped those pebbles and grabbed a box of ball-pens, and acted in a very pampered manner, as if he was their relative's child asking them to support his new venture of selling ball-pens. He was motivated and proud, and I was impressed enough to buy a ball-pen!

One of the most essential skill is the ability to sell ideas, in times like these, what's even better is, if those ideas are solutions for the challenges faced by masses. If that is so then, your rebel self will find a lot of passion in surviving this world. And remember to not hate someone for their ambition when its your turn.

P.s. remember when reconstructing your 'improved self' do put up a sign board 'taqleef kay liye mazrat-khuwa hai!' for all those who would not understand your 'feeling wala attitude'

Glossy aur Gham!

We love cars, those shinny, glossy, metaloplastic, running horses. They only fart and don’t poop. And we made all types of roads for them, 5 feet roads, two-way roads, highways and motorways, for them. Indeed, the hobbies that we keep, have come with a great cost. All in the name of transporting us in our times of need and of leverage luxury.
We love violence. There is always a share of hatred that we have kept for our enemies. We have our dreams, the ones about annihilating them, obliterating them, these are the ones we cherish and keep close to our hearts. So, we have spent wholeheartedly getting our expensive tools for raising such havoc. When the moment comes, we just like to brag about their destruction capacity, aimed at ruining those few human beings who make us insecure.
We love successful, attractive, subservient, human beings who are equally oppressed, and share similar voids in their existence. The indulgence of such liberties have a price, sometimes its fate-associated and sometimes it hedges on, money or power – associated dynamics, and the desired outcome is the envy of the common folks. We have all sorts of versions of this one: family, companionships and/or agreements.
We love food. The gluttony and its access, the delicacies of taste, the measures of fulfillment, the ecstasy of having to eat what others can’t afford, monetarily , socially, culturally or religiously. Whether in the name of health or distress, we have our personal reasons.
We love sports. The adrenaline packed spectacle, which somehow catches our total attention. The game, the players, they are our fascination and affection. The mental, physical and spiritual capacity of the player is the base of the game. The sacred association to a team becomes the part of the rhetorical stance of one’s belief. We shame, we blame, we cheer, and we share, all in its name. 
Oh, you happiness! What do you do to us!
What we don’t really love much are our rights, our education and our health. We don’t strive for them as long as they do not interfere with the love of our lives that we share, as above.
Fact is that our government does not really care about meaningfully educating the masses. Masses are not really that interested spending on quality education and by quality education I mean, to learn what really works in life and how the life works.
Now to talk about health, well, it is more of a commodity. Quality-wise difference depends upon, who has got the money and access and who has not. Health is not just a diagnosis of what's wrong with you but it is also the knowledge of what is right for you.
Then comes the thing that matter the most! To know what rights you have in the communities that you live in, what are the rights which were anointed upon you at birth, blah, blah, blah.. Now the thing about a right is that it only exists if you know it. Knowledge of it is one fact that’s equally important to having it, because if you don't know what your right is then definitely you might be debarred from it!

  
P.s. this is the poetry that inspired this post:
Aaj ke gham ke naam (In the name of this day’s sorrow:)
Aaj ka gham ke hai zindagi ke bhare gulistan se khafa (Sorrow that stands, disdaining the blossoming garden of Life,)
Zard patton ka ban (Like a forest of dying leaves)
Zard patton ka ban jo mera des hai (A forest of dying leaves that is my country)
Dard ki anjuman jo mera des hai (An assembly of pain that is my country)
- Faiz Ahmed Faiz

HPLC aur Haram!

So folks with all these wedding extravaganzas rolling around us, there is this one incident that tends to reinstate ones belief in sanity. So here it goes…
The incident involves the following characters…
Rabia – an independent girl in her late 20s. She belongs from a elite family. Drives her own Toyota. Is outspoken and painfully blunt at times. She is the original lady who is excruciatingly unhypocritical.
Shahreen – a daughter of a landlord. Is in her mid 20s. Shrewd as it gets. Is more feminize but not a feminist. She is a bit low on her sense of sarcasm. Recently got married to a government gazetted  engineer.
Kamila – a girl belonging to inner city, the downtown, of a metropolitan. She, too is in her mid 20s. Belongs to a middle class family. Is usually objective and observant. Is unmarried.
Me – you know me, right!? -wink-
-
After what seemed an eternity, I look on to the monitor screen for the signs of a peek for folic acid. HPLC is genuinely courageous piece of an instrument. Being completely uncooperative to its user, yet again. Thus, it looks as if I have to run the test, yet again.
Rabia, who happens to be my amiable senior/TA, approved of that. Life of a MPhil student is an arrested development and it can’t get any better. Kamila, under the umbrella of same supervisor, having the same responsibilities, won’t even bother to run her test, rather sit beside Rabia, and talk about matters which are painstakingly none-of-my-concern, as you can see.
These laboratories remind me of church. High ceiling, uncovered stained windows, cold in winters, empty except during congregation of a practical, and we happen to be priests and nuns left in-charge by the supervising bishop. So the ambience gets pretty gloomy on the weekdays with an incorruptible HPLC.
So, I sat by the duo, ironically sulking over past procrastinations of coursework.
So after sometime, there came in Shahreen. She looked flamboyant, with three layered makeup and green lens-worn eyes. Gave her a pashtoon look, I do say.
Her thesis on plant extract was recently accepted and she was no way near to getting a paper published on her own, like most of us.
She came straight to Kamila and they greeted like a pair of Arab leaders, except with more high-pitched sound.
‘So how was the wedding?’ Asked Kamila, to which Shahreen gave a clichéd reply, ’It was brilliant, I had this wonderful dress, let me show you the pictures’. Kamila gave an awe struck look, and courteously returned with ‘ I am so sorry I could not make it, I really missed it’, while Shahreen was rummaging for her Iphone 6 within the debris of the thing called purse.
But while she grabbed the cellphone, her brain took up a snarly little question for, the ever centre of attention, Rabia.
‘Oh, haven’t you got married as yet!’
I and Kamila, focused our attention to everything except these two.
‘No, I haven’t!’ replied Rabia in a stark manner. To which Shahreen returned, while holding her Iphone 6, ‘But, why?’
‘Because I don’t feel like getting married to one those foolish ignoramus nincompoop of an imbecile buffoon tool you did! I had them, several of these proposals but sorry, I don’t feel like bringing up a manchild. As, for when would I get married? Well of all the things in the world, I won’t jump on to the bandwagon in hast, rather do it on my own terms when I find a proper man of my own liking!’, Rabia slayed the question and gave a savage overdo to its corpse.
Shahreen was absolutely livid, as if she had her’s and her clan’s ego stabbed irrevocably. Rest of us where seemly dumbstruck!
Now in the normal circumstances Shahreen would have replied to such horrendous accusations towards her groom, I guess she knew deep down that although he was a comparative catch but needless he was still among the dominant league of manchildren. Thus, she dropped in the Iphone 6, back where it came from. And burst out of the laboratory entrance door.
 -    
Women having the freedom of such ideology like that of Rabia, probably would seem like the thin edge of the wedge, for our society. May be they should. May be her rebuttal was a mere backlash. Let, them be free to choose their own fate, no matter what they may. As for me, that this reply was sane and partly close to the reality. The guys I see out here are either repenting over their married ex or childishly overjoyed on getting married to their GFs.
P.s. A tale of a manchild…
Mein pi kar nahi behakta, ussay dekh kar behakta houn, itna bata sharab haram huwi ya wo?
pechay say maa ki awaz ayi,
kameenay sharab haram hai aur wo haramzaadi - sources: internet

Bewitched aur Baraat!

Part 1 – Aaj ka main headline feature -

Love that gets fulfilled should be like magical. How would one define magic?! Well, it is something after which you don’t need to post facebook status, check-ins, how you feeling, random frequent mobile uploads of romanticized stills, selfies… most of all, the need to have an attentive response from peers giving you a subconscious certificate on your self-actualization.

Is this love and all?  Is this the magic you wish to create or will you let it happen by itself?! Thing is, in other words, love should be able to get your head out of facebook and deliver what you have been trying to zabardasti drain out of facebook.

Love should not be phupo ji ka argument that has to be proven wrong. You don’t have to raise the same hell forsaken argument with a higher pitch to your phupo, the poor lady is going to bring up a new one every now and then. So if you start chasing each one of them, you are going to miss on the presence of moment with your family.

Same is whats with love and social media. We are not celebrities, who survive and thrive on these sort of behavior, we do it at the expense of our real life experience of the moment. One does not have to give in to the urge of inducing the same aw factor on to the social media, which one had earlier experienced last year, this time along. So, today that ‘I am ‘just’ married’, will tomorrow be ‘our new baby ‘just’ out of operation theatre’, to ‘our pet cat ‘just’ died’ ending with having an accident ‘just’ taking a selfie on the dream road!

In this last week of December, I have attended quite many weddings already. None were mine or those of any of my bros. They probably are occupied with worries about survival of their swag, possibility of ever finding true love, ‘janu I luv u’ talk on cellphones, or ‘yar bhook lagi hai, bhar chalay’.

There are so MANY weddings going on this season, that at times I wonder about these frequent page updating administrators, yar aap ko kisi nay shadi pey nahi bolaya. I have not seen such a traffic block at 8-10 pm every day on consistent basis… anth barat mahool banaya wa hota hai! There tends to be a perfect trilogy of pattern, the rise of baraat, the baraat in action, and baraat returns.

After attending all these wedding invitations, there are many uninvited engagement ceremonies I have realized I was ignored at. I being a charra(bechalor + single + male Pakistani + age in 20s/30s) feel offended when I unfortunately meet these guilty parties, it is as if I am plagued and should feel inferior to them, I feel offended when they mention being engaged in such precautious manner as if I have a jinx and will bewitch them. Well it is not me, its them! Who put a curse on my joy of life. Live and let live, morons!! GET A LIFE! – kuch zaida tou nahi hogaya, sorry yar bahi ghussa kar gaya tha –

Part 2 – Aur baki news-

There is one other epic trilogy that came around this winter,’ STAR WARS- Sitaro ki jang’, ironically when I was watching this first installment, in theatre, another of the year’s earthquake rocked the city. All I felt like was a presence of brat, sitting behind me who could be having leg fits. Though while the intergalactic battle was on the screen, probably my sitaray were in right position(pun intended) and I came out alive.

Remember that we are no giving enough rights to balouchis, this time we crossed all limits, by depriving them of Nargis Fakhri! Yes, the red hot scintillating cover that featured on the front page of each newspaper, failed to rise in Quetta. To this hammering of equal opportunities birthright ignored, some real reconciliation might need to be carried. Viola! We just had a Ufone rebuttal version, looks like the balouchi revenge!

In the other news, city of saints, previously bent on suppressing its female population, recently killed Tutti Frutti.

P.s. All Pakistan Mufta Uranaywalay, Fukray and Taaro Association(MUFTA) message to all members: Yeh anth baraat mahool aap sab ko mubarik ho. Baraati honay say pehlay apnay bhaiyo ko yaad rakhay.. Apnay iss keemti waqt mein mil kay mufta lagaye aur bachiya tarray!

P.p.s. In 2015, I learned to dance on tunes of pumpy songs, so, 2016 might get someone to replace them.