Sunday, August 18, 2013

Independence aur indus


The following text might not be funny … I tried!!
The blog is possibly be written by one of the quite-a-bit worn out bloggers. What ever I write is a mixture of tales I come across in my own life and through exposure from observation. This former part my dear readers… is a real hard experience with lots of emotions and pain. Like many, the curse of curoisty and coming across pattern of errors and comedy intact, produced an addict scribbling across this hd screen.

Hey!!!!!!! Do you really want to decide this guy is gonna be the intellectual kaow-all!! Nah!!!

That’s because I have been watching Indian films lately. Makes me think the love is only thing that’s there in world and yes … its real! Other thing is… betrayal is the surprise package. And if you have a thing for cool stuff, then guns are all you ever going to find in there.

Recently bollywood has been taking quiet an interest in the renowned ‘terrorist’ dawood Ibrahim. The person incidentally finds a portray of himself in every other film… the Shootout series, the spy movies like agent vinod, once upon a time in mumbais’, recently .. D-Day… etc etc… Almost glorifying the image of the one of the want damned. One such entire redefined the list of priorities.. if one puts too much wrong in routine messages, people that lie accept as a truth… in this case a gangster may turn idol.

There is a valuable lesson to learn. Stop looking at the world but the life you have. Theres a lot on plate already! For instance Gloria Jeans in the city of saints… where one occasionally smell lads bonding on weed. anh kidding!! who knows.. seriously!! hmmmmm.. But the coffee is better! GJ makes multan look more livable. And as any other Gloria Jeans in country it has its own cult crowd of loyal customers. But the place its placed, well it’s a little tricky.

But  right opposite of the GJ when you look up.. its there. ROOTS in multan! They found a house! Brilliant.. now I can find a child-looking friend and do this…

Me: Hey I want to admit my son in your school.. whats the package?

Receptionist: Well we will drain you off every penny you have but your kid will feel like a burger at the end. Howzat?

Me: Viola! Just what my parents got served as well eh!

Receptionist: Ol’ school, sir!

Me: Brilliant! Come here, my future duplicate of not-at-all-thankful of me! Be mindful of his demons!

School!! A place that teaches history and becomes history.

Talking of history… how about I transfer the knowledge of this region. Its history!

Seriously its patronizing!

The earliest known settlement in Indian subcontinent was reported to be in this Indus region, about 3500 years BC. Indus civilation, Aryans … all stayed here and ruled the rest of india. In last 5000 years the Indian subcontinent was ruled from here! Expect form 150 years of Maurya and the years of akbar the mughal! The point is.. history says that the Indus and its rulers are the real heir to controlling the rest of india.. or there is some afghani, irani who can run you over as well… but you would get it back!

But what you cant get is the right to enter in a shopping mall on independence day, as a i-do-no-harm guy!..... Families only! Well let me tell them a story… the place a few miles away called as the cantt bazaar.. has kept there stuff together all the rainy days since the last … I don’t know… the very day they constructed it! True business bloke!

You better have a more responsible security set upright! Then denying costumers!

Now the notion to end this piece is the one which a recently came across with an old friend of mine… the most rehearsed sentence of our generation….. and the generation before that…

Parents: ‘Hum logo ko kia mu dikaye gaye’ -with a pinch of repentence for us-

If you have heard it before… High five! Parents are fantastic people with aspirations and assumption, who have brought us up. I don’t think they need to bother much about anything… They are beautiful people! :)

P.s. remember  that 6 lane road with service road on each side. Yeah! That one! Pray it is completed sooner! Its been AGESSS!!! O.o

Sunday, August 4, 2013

DreamLand aur DreamGirl

This blog is a work of fiction. Has a lot of resembles to real life characters. Still the blogger takes no responsibility. Believe what you want. Up to you saeen! sayoeni!! The one freedom I am happy to charter.
Today is 14 August 2013…
66th anniversary of spirit of Pakistan…
Independence Day of Islamic Republic of Pakistan…
5 million people decided to migrate to their land of theirdreams! They sacrificed their lives but the spirit survived. Since then we battled thrice against a superior enemy and faced numerous catastrophes now and then. Not only that, in current time, every other day we are inflicted atrocities by terrorists. But the spirit is thriving because that which can not kill it, makes it stronger…. Pakistan Zindabad!

That’s what I can use for the start a speech on independence in my own place! No one is interested in patriotic rhetoric meant to patronize them. Quom magti hai roti, kapra aur makaan…but do you also know that during the Kargil war the nation’s esteem and government(struck by worst economy, foreign sanctions, sectarianism) approval, spiked like the heart of guy’s heartbeat on watching katrina’s item number.
I have witnessed a Indian Harvard Professor Raj Chetty talk on the recession of American dream, giving the glimpse of the extent of presence of Indians in the top academic factories manufacturing knowledge… kaash Pakistani bhi iss kadar raaj jaye!! Hamaray bhi hazaaro student top 100 universities mein parh ley yar!!!
Since the making of Pakistan everything in Pakistan has changed… we left lassi, grabed a coke… left shalwaar kameez, put on branded jeans wear, left desi ghee wala paratha, feed ourselves with junk food… left urdu, mumbled out English(at the highest inability of the handicapped)… all in the name of Globilization!
And in terms of simple girls, fancied… chamek challos, cheeki chambelis and jawan sheelas… but … when it comes to the oldest institutions of this region.. Family. the first, pillar comes to mind… marriage.
Bahi is ka kuch nahi badla… aaj bhi wohi throne ridden process hai
Ab koi bhi DreamGirl ko pasand kar kay beth sakta tha … when the tables change .. got to the next step. The coke drinking, levi’s wearing, KFC fed and English speaking goes on to fall in love with chamek-ful, cheeki-ous and jawaan-est Girl! Well that would be the only part that would be best. Next….
Gazeb hogaya ji!!
INDIGENOUS MINISTRY FOR MARRIAGES, since the time when power was handed to those who have the least at stake!
I wondered that people here ever came out of a marriage proposal process and said… Dude! I think I just got wasted!
In city of saints… I wish the saints could do anything about this ministry too.. this thing has created and still creates more violence, injustice and fear than anything else…TERRORISM AT ITS WORST.
I am here not to be some Edward Snowden, but that grumpy old uncle who just stood in for an hour in the bank to get his pension which had recently had cut in health allowance and saw the senior citizen leverage go down the drain. Yeah! the things are going worst!
Stand up! If you can…
You want to end corruption!! Well end this!! If you can!!
Educate your parents, relatives, friends! If you can??!!! Oh wait.. yeh kaam USAID wallo ka hai!
Amerikiou hamari sari cheezay change kar dali par puttar yeh marriage system teray haat nahi laga! I wish if Warren Buffet could invest in independence of marriages!!!
P.S. DreamLand (expensive plot) = DreamGirl (Her Majesty).. phir vi rolla mukna nai ! na guarantee no way out! May the fittest groom win! :/
Ab to seenay pey chapkaye photo fevicol say :P

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