Monday, March 27, 2017

Choose Life aur Cha gaya!

This is the return of transpotting 'Choose Life' speech, in Trainspotting 2 ( ). A rant on social existence can't get any better than this. Anni pa kay tou kar de akheer soniya! Cha gaya hai yar!

So here it goes:

'Choose designer lingerie in vain hope of kicking some life back in to a dead relationship. Choose hand bags. Choose high heel shoes, cashmere and silk to make yourself feel what passes from happy. Choose an IPhone made in China by a woman who jumped out of the window and stick in a pocket of your jacket made from south Asian fire trap. Choose Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and Instagram and thousand other ways to spill your bile across people you never met. Choose updating your profile. Tell the world what you had for breakfast and hope that someone somewhere occasionally looking up old flames, desperate to believe that you don’t look as bad as they do. Choose life, blogging from your first wank to your last breath. Human interaction is just a nothing more than a data. Choose 10 things you never know about celebrities who had surgery. Choose screaming about abortion, choose rape jokes, slut shaming, revenge porn and endless tide of…  choose 9/11 never happened and if it did it was the Jews. Choose the zero hour contract and a two hour journey to warton. Choose the same for your kids and only worse may be tell yourselves as bad happens. And then sit back and smolder the pain as unknown dose of an unknown drug made in somebody’s fucking kitchen. Choose the unfulfilled promise and what you could have done all differently. Choose never learning from your own mistakes. Choose watching history repeat itself. Choose slow reconciliation towards what you can get rather than what you have always hoped for. Settle for less and keep a brim face on it. Choose disappointment. And choose losing the ones you loved and as they fall from view a piece of you dies with them and until you can see that on one day in the future piece by piece they will all be good and there will be nothing left for you to call alive or dead. Choose your future Veronica. Choose life.'

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Grande Halls aur Gulshan!

A view of Imperial Banquet Karachi source:

We possess culturally and traditionally compatible views about life, love and liberation from being alive. These are our shackles of the civilized world. Nonetheless we adhere to the normality of such kind. The despair is fest upon the failures to comply. The business model of this world is set on these norms, so who am I to detest the terms of business...
Not long time ago, I wrote a sketch on desi weddings, though this time I am going to go through the parameters of logistics and supplies. Though, as I go on to rant out the frustration, nay I say, KP assembly just did that today! The respected house is pondering on putting a cap on wedding expense to 75 thousand rupees. And they are placing a rhetorical ban on dowry, yet again. Dowry, is a cultural and traditional element(CTE), can not be eliminated so easily, along with other bad CTEs. The government usually formulates two kinds of laws, ones that are too good to be implemented and ones which seem potentially popular, both end up creating a nuisance.

It’s the same sort of curb that election commission has of 15 lakhs for a national assembly seat! itnay mein koun larta hai! The truth is, aaj kal kay waqt mein tou 75 hazaar ka koi shadi haal bhi book nahi hota!
Weddings are organized at high cost, dowry tou chorro abb aur bohat karchay hogaye hai! The times are such that a single wedding function goes up to 7 lakh plus for upto 200-300 guests, and the fine photography-turn-cinematography have started to cost up to 5 lakhs itself, and the lehengas, dont get me started!! Punj Punj Lakh da lehnga vi aaj kal changa nihe lagda! dresses and themes just take it off the roof! the logistical support is almost 1-2 lakhs and not to mention the pain bros go through in transporting the cabinet members of the shadi committee! Stereo wala, catering wala and gari wala.. and imagine if bharaat is coming from Karachi to Islamabad!
So, from 15 lakh up to 50 lakhs, is what a metro wedding usually get spend in a month., dowry excluded, aur tax ki to sharaafat say bari hai nahi ayi. In this amount you can get a masters from abroad! Or you can fund three PhDs as well! Just saying..
The point being that if one does not get a big fat desi wedding, the new norm, your life is up for despair. The way I see it! Its up for despair anyway… from the time you caved-in and gave-in to the institution of marriage and wedding.. you were done! –just joking-
or am i?!!
Source: Facebook Memes
5 years ago at the time of marriage aur media, there use to be 3 shows(mendhi, baraat and walima) now its countless, it starts like 2 weeks ago and if your rukhsati is not post nikah .. oh lord! Its like you want to go on a spending spree over this weddings, like it’s a charity for self pity! Itnay armaan aur wo bhi itnay behpanah aur baehaya!
The only business the blooms in Pakistan today are corruption and shadi haals!! Ab tou har chowk par aik hai! We don’t have as many police check posts in town, in a security state, as much, weddings halls are there… and what more, they have NAMES @(*$(#&(%& NAMES!! Marquees, Halls, Banquets, Grands, Hotels, Clubs, open grounds, tents service etc!!
By now you would probably think I hate weddings, well, I don’t hate the players, I just despise the game!
So before I lose all hope in life or life loses hope in me, before I die I feel like I should vent out the views for the people who come after me…the Generation Z!
P.s.  bahi iss dunya mein jo kuda uss ka tou apna self defense bhi koi nahi hai… aur tou aur bahi yeha nichay bohat circus hai aur saray hi yeha ring master banay phirtay hai!! par tum log bhi kiya karo gaye.. Chalay bhi aao kay gulshan ka karobar chalay...

Muzaffarabad aur manzar!

Its not always that I fall prey to writing imprompto yet, right now I feel nothing else to do. The inhibitions and negativity within me mig...