Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Lahore aur lamehhdood!



Humour, sir, comes natural to lahoris…. So does rudeness, sheer lack of regard and respect. Now there is a fundamental aspect to their invisible motive. That, sir, is their tendency to keep, what is known as, ‘the upper hand’.
For instance, you are standing in queue with a trolley at a grocery store. An uncle, an actual uncle, twice your age! Comes and tries to invade the line, right before the counter. Apparently they were two counters at the place. One for those with a trolley and those without a trolley. Anyway! The uncle with absolute no bearing of the blunt violation of the queue making rules, gets aback by heys of the standing! But you my friend get the brunt! The uncle stands there criticizing you for not having enough items in your trolley, in other words stating you as undeserving of the queue! You will come to admire the courage of this uncle! Almost brings a smile on you!
Then there are the traffic wardens… the rant-some tall standing men who if not writing off a challan, have the ability to shred your self-esteem to bits and pieces. So if ever you get stopped by one, hope you are left with any! Although the traffic here is rude, as much as it can be! The nature of rudeness may defer from road to road(and there are A LOT of roads). This is the motherland of the Pakistani traffic safety phrase, ‘you safe yourself in traffic, from the traffic’.
Lahore, the city of roads, bridges, and conservative vote bank! has its variety of food outlets, and is most suitably the heaven of any foodie. The clothing lines have multiple shops all over the city, you can find the clothes but finding the tailor is the key. Or on the other hand, if you buy prĂȘt or ready-made, well, it can cost is all sort of colourful currency. Unlike the capital, the city has not outlawed its bachelors and can find a place to live, at some ease but remember that the city has it undocumented taxed high rent! So your roti, kapra and makaan…. Only for, if you have, lamehhdood(limitless) money in the pocket!
My, sir, if you want to ask that being in this city has changed my views on the burden of philosophical side of my existence. Well, the city is demanding and there is a reason to believe that an explicit version of shrewdness is required over here to survive. Although, they may not agree with you but at the end of the day, the city has a magnanimous strength to absorb people from different backgrounds, beliefs and regions.. So, the answer, sir, is no!
My fear, although, is its ability to appoint a ‘better half’. Be that as it may, but I have decided to oppose it. Atleast until, a time comes when the courage of men fails. Thus,  till the time comes…. A man most do, what a man must do. That is to work on the professional progress, personal growth, future plans and resolution of major challenges etc etc. when practically the joy of life is sucked out of life and you are finally a machine!! I miss the life of young and stupid ideas!
p.s. Laahor ch theko wasaib baow yaad tisi.. par figar nat! dushmana ku bhaa lag waisi! :P

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Snape aur shadi



By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
There is a thing about marriages. They are like the key to survival of human society, although, the human race still survived in its absence in some parts of the world. Marriages have some complexities to themselves in this part of the world, where they are the sole reason for anxiety for everyone!
The dhulla party is worried about the expenses and guests list on the walima.
The dhullan party is worried about the legitimacy of dhulla party and their own list of pseudo-guests.
The guests are worried about their inability to estimate the worth of the newly wed couple, for the sole purpose of the salami.
The end result, the thought that sails through everyones' mind… yeh shadi kis ka idea tha!! Damnit!
Anyways when the bills have been paid, the rollas of mama ji and chachi ji has been resolved, the night of vulgar assumptions as passed. The marriage moves to the next challenge…. Tabdeli ayi nahi aah gayi hai!!!?????
Love marriage, apart from its initial challenges, tends to bring with it an understanding that you don’t have to change and compromise forcefully but happy at will. And even if you find the new revelations, you still can live by the envisioned dream and work towards it.
Arrange marriages, already spooked by anxious suspicions, if not properly thought through, which is like most of the time,  demands and not asks, you to compromise and change yourself, if in case you want it to survive. And thus begin, ab hum kiya kar saktay hai-phase
Now the thing is, I am not the master of marriages…. I have not tried getting married over and over again. Once may be I came close to being married but still, kismatou ko nibah rahay hai. But after all that I have observed and reported. Like all other things, conscience is a luxury that is not compatible in marriages as well!
Either its arranged or love, else both!! You should never invite conscience to the party! And beware that it’s ‘the’ ‘wedding crasher’ your nani warned you about! Why, because usnay kiya kia, usnay kiya kaha, usnay kiya socha… is never going to resolve the moral stand of either party, larki, larki-walas, larka, larka-walas or guests. Just get over with it! And get over it!
Now a new life has start, a life of miya, biwi aur bachay…. And a happy family! Where you will join new ties and break some old ones and mess up once in a while, go out for a meal and everything will be expensively alright!
Pyar zindagi mein aik baar hotay hai, aur humeisah dou aisay afraad mein jo dunya say taang aye hotay hai… and in their own world nothing else exists, but just them and only them! The are on top! Centre, right and left … of the WORLD!! Their own world!
Now the thing about bachelors like me… the question is … to marry or not to marry?
its simple… hum SNAPE ji kay mureed hai bahiALWAYS….
Baki rahi dunya aur uski dari (rag) aka dunyadaariKush rakho aur kush raho… dosro kay liye hi sahi….
To the married… don’t take anything for granted and value your spouses and if in PAKISTAN.. their families more!
To the not-married-till-this-day…. Try becoming the next EDHI bahi and EDHI bajji

P.s.  Soocraat bahi mein nay tou shadi nahi ki par philosophy phoot phoot kar bahar arahi hai… lagta hai aap nahi kaha kuch aur tha… bhabi kuch aur hi translaite kar bethi… shadi mein undderstanding honi chahiye nahi tou banda sari ummar kay liye philosopher ban jata hai!  :P

Sheep aur Siyasi!

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