Sunday, July 1, 2018

Change aur Chahitay!

Changing to from right to left... literally 

This indeed is truly odd, when I try to sum it up. A cascade of cramped up emotions, that seem to drive out some mist of confusion. Because in real sense it’s all a fancy, I cannot make it sense. It is intuition that I fail to express. It’s a confusion that is generated from all the information I feel that I know about myself. Self-discovery. From the cradle till now. Trying to make lemonade out of the lemons life gave me. Now realizing that too much lemonade is also bad for health. Try mixing it up with a bit of wisdom. That I shall now.
I am for the generation of the 80s and 90s aka millennial and I have often now and then cried about it. But to tell you the truth it feels nothing better than being a millennial in today’s world. I mean I have seen some real transformation of the world in terms of technology, and 'progressed'. From the days when you just used to write up an verse of juvenile poetry on the last pages of your geography classwork copy, to uploading it on a blog and then later on putting it  up as a social media status update, in a span of a couple of decades.
Aray bahi kya hai yeh azadi, kya hai sakoon? Kal ko notice hona chahitay thay aaj notice karwana chahitay hai.
This day and age is a challenge with so much you wish and fantasize about but so little have you trained to cope with it. With new social and economic challenges. So many opportunities so much competition, yani exposure hai bhi aur nahi bhi.
Bas lagay raho….. badaltay raho… kuch samajho na… kiun kay haqiqatay bhi waqt kay saat badal jaye gi….
And thus, I end this blog for today… kiun kay zindagi mein cheezay adhuri chornay ki aadat si hogai hai aur zaroorat bhi ban gayi hai…

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Muzaffarabad aur manzar!

Its not always that I fall prey to writing imprompto yet, right now I feel nothing else to do. The inhibitions and negativity within me might have subsided towards the neutral gear. Right now, I am the uncrowned king of ecstasy-land.
The memories of an unplanned, spontaneous and impulse-driven trip to northeastern highlands of the land of pure, have steered me through monotonous life of the machine, away and then back. I was part of a 2 day detour to Muzaffarabad.
Much to my remorse the road trip was anything but fun. The emetic potential of zigzag road to city was actively high and thus, took some heavy mental toughness to keep-in the contents of my stomach within, from gettin without. While the co--passengers were spilling the vomits in plastic bags, I tired to mull over the slave life that Nicholas Taleb says which I tend to live.
Nonetheless I reach the city from the capital in about 4 hours and secured plus hungry stomach. The city was an absolute delight in matter of climate if kept in comparison with Lahore. The people are marvelous and the manzar of the city is a gem!
As I reached at night I got to view the city from top, illustrated as reflective sky on land formed by settled fireflies beaming from everywhere.
Adventure was compassionately accommodated by a hospitable friend, for me and another colleague of mine.
A city where Neelam river flows from one end and Jhelum river flows from another, its just awesome to sea them both converge at Domail Bridge.
The city is tourist delight, with historic places like the Red Fort, the scenic view of a city wrapped around two different colour rivers under the mist of mountains cover with clouds and the river rock floored bazaars to roam around, plus not to forget the snow capped mountain top shrine of Pir Chinasi.
Yet the government was not as efficient as the nature itself, the city was subjected to a routine of loading shedding every hour.
Nonetheless these were wholesome two days with a pinch of Capital's centaurus mall in it on the way back.
Below are some of my shots from the trip:

The view of Muzaffarabad at night from up top

Some wornout wooden chairs at the Red Fort

Chai aur Pakoray, as tea seemed to suit more in the cool weather of the city 
View of the mountains capped with snow clouds in the morning.

Interesting vandalism of public sign boards on road.... speed limit: Jiye Bhutto!

The night stay at Muffarabad View Motel

The night glow of the Motel

The morning reflection of the city evident from the image superimposed of the glass screens

The zigzag roads snaking through the mountains

Redefining DIET at Centaurus mall

The morning view from the Motel's window

The beautiful down alley of the bazaar sprinkled over with dizzle

The ever-lightened-up Metro station of rawalphindi-islamabad
Motel website for Booking, Muzaffarabad View Motel, MVM:

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Heart wreck aur Bardast!

Today while I sit in front of my laptop, I don’t think of the stress related to work, jeopardies of studies or pending tasks back at home. The one element that strikes pain and fear, is that one feeling that probably once again you would be erased from someone’s memory like you never existed. Once again the one person you fell in love with, the one you felt was the one, who took care of you like no other, will forget you like you never existed. Once again one you loved for so long, will simple move on like nothing ever happened. And one thing you will be left with is hurt and a pack of smoke, to turn yourself to ashes and dust.
There is nothing glorious of a one sided love, its like you tail a car in fog till bardast karta reh aur dusrou ko paas karnay daye… you know it right then and there that they will never be part of your life and you will one day see them siding with someone else for all the ‘other’ reasons which they did not see in you. No matter how much they say it was not you or the life was cruel to them for not letting you be part of their life, you will still be alone and they will move on.
So inspite of how much pain it gives you, no matter how nice or intellect you were, you never were what your love wanted. You have a fortune of misfortune. No one will care of your loss, your family, friends or foes. It was a storm that brewed in you and has torn everything apart. Love when unfilled, stays with you longer and at times infinitely, hurts you.
So now while i sit in front of my laptop, I think of a reflex, a retrospect and a reminiscence of failure of hope, aspiration and a dream. There will be no salvation, never or even worse, ever!
So even what when you said so, ‘survive’ a heart wreck , its not like you become stronger or see within yourself a new you but instead, you see smaller scars on the original scars that were deep and much more painful at their original incursion. Its like you are getting hurt on maintenance level with a high potency fear that was initially loaded on the first heart wreck.
Or may be you are living as partly accessory of someone’s life, as their intrigue, in a world of your own imagination as love’s third world citizen. Where your disparity is your food. Where your misery is your clothes. Where your sorrow is your shelter. You are Gatsby that never made it to creating a fortune. There is no promised land of happiness for you.

On the end note, this is not eulogy but an ode, for alas, the gravestone shall not only have one’s name on it but the list of heart wrecks that raged havoc time to time. If only ones who left during the storm would ever visit and leave a mere flower for recognition of…

Monday, October 9, 2017

Sheep aur Siyasi!

The nation in hope of stability under crescent and star flag
Picture Source:
Ever since I took up my senses, right around the mid 90s, I was a siyasi bacha… incompatible and contrary to the statement of an ex-interior minister… this bacha was very siyasi! 
I use to not dream of the chocolate factory but of political personalities and black holes. I was so politically tuned that I could see a government go and one that’s coming. I have lists of grown ups of the time, shocked and surprised by the predictions I made in my childhood and adolescent days. There was time in high school that I wished to be a political adviser. I mean, it was more of the state of affairs gone wrong, rather then my qualifications.
Yet ever since, the last 3 decades of my life I have only seen the land of the pure under existential threat. A constant existential threat. Mulk nazuk surat e haal mein hi hota hai!
Since then, in retrospect, this is seeming more like a game card that’s played us, and shall continue to do so.
Whether it was the death of a serving military chief in early 90s, the kargil war post nuclear armament, the 2002 stand off, the mid 2000s water crisis, the post afghan war debris of terrorism in Pakistan, or current shit we are in, today. Its like a never ending saga, of f+#K we did it again!
A kid who started reading Enid Blyton ended up with the World Order of Henry Kissinger, and that’s some cherry popping. Word.
Now, I do realize that my kids will open eyes in this existential crisis too and probably their kids too.. if the genes of pleasure seeking druggists continues to flourish with the population bomb of no-resources-to-flourish.

We are like the sheep, plus, there is a sheep dog that’s too, a sheep. 

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Diversion aur Dair!

city of saints
Traffic Warden guiding the diversion
You took the remote and switched on the television, it is the Monday morning. Tear gas and loud chants, precede on every news channel. You force squeeze on the red button and seemingly, peace is restored to your world.
You eat the breakfast and head out for your pending chores of life. This time it’s the renewal of your driving license. As it happens, the place of your task happens to be next to the city courts. On the roundabout close to the destination, suddenly, there is a mass gathering and within seconds, the round junction is blocked.
In the confusion and bewilderment, you notice a prominent face, focus of the crowd, nucleus of the junction, wondering who it would be.
You come home, involuntarily, unsuccessful to complete the task of the day. While, you mull over the day’s proceedings, you turn of the television. What you see is a familiar face, the queen bee, the Mr. Well-to-do. You just saw your life come into conjunction of the news and newsmakers.
You head back again, with hopes of getting your work done. Now, there is a traffic barrier and next to it is a traffic warden pulling the diversion of traffic to an exit route. The darna(sit-in) is still on. Sadly, it was not in your favour.
You reach the office along the required documents and officer on duty is like… maaf karna sahib aap ko bohat dair hogaye hai(pardon Sir! You are very late now)
It is evening, the time to spare is shared on social networking. You are racing through a foodies  page for something interesting. But after a few clicks you realize that the page is a rant fest of 'all is bad'. The page admin, is food outlet owner. When you think of it, foodies' pages are great tool to render an opinion and probably has been able to manipulate views and viewership. Own the mud pools if you think people are going to use them against you. You could sell the mud to others for throwing it on your rivals, at best.
Yet, you pick the one place, for a friend, which gets the most hype. Its catch-22. You can’t live with it, you can’t live without it.
Do in Rome, like the Romans do. You come back home. You write a ‘positive’ review, you offer felicitations to the owners for making a good job out of the food outlet. No one cares. Complains still prevail.
Its midnight, you walk alone on this lonely road of the city of saints and wonder about all the diversions, physical and metaphysical, that you have seen and experience. You sulk over there repercussions. Unable to foresee any solution, you dive into you bed of acceptance, and sleep to your helplessness.
You dream about a saner tomorrow.
....When the saints are here and it snows in city of saints.
P.s. akhiry line writer ki aik na puri honay wali khuwahisho mein say aik thi.. iss ko serious mat laye… waisay agar kuch aisa hota hai.. tou yeh qiamat ki nishani ssamjhi jaye gi!!!

Monday, March 27, 2017

Choose Life aur Cha gaya!

This is the return of transpotting 'Choose Life' speech, in Trainspotting 2 ( ). A rant on social existence can't get any better than this. Anni pa kay tou kar de akheer soniya! Cha gaya hai yar!

So here it goes:

'Choose designer lingerie in vain hope of kicking some life back in to a dead relationship. Choose hand bags. Choose high heel shoes, cashmere and silk to make yourself feel what passes from happy. Choose an IPhone made in China by a woman who jumped out of the window and stick in a pocket of your jacket made from south Asian fire trap. Choose Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and Instagram and thousand other ways to spill your bile across people you never met. Choose updating your profile. Tell the world what you had for breakfast and hope that someone somewhere occasionally looking up old flames, desperate to believe that you don’t look as bad as they do. Choose life, blogging from your first wank to your last breath. Human interaction is just a nothing more than a data. Choose 10 things you never know about celebrities who had surgery. Choose screaming about abortion, choose rape jokes, slut shaming, revenge porn and endless tide of…  choose 9/11 never happened and if it did it was the Jews. Choose the zero hour contract and a two hour journey to warton. Choose the same for your kids and only worse may be tell yourselves as bad happens. And then sit back and smolder the pain as unknown dose of an unknown drug made in somebody’s fucking kitchen. Choose the unfulfilled promise and what you could have done all differently. Choose never learning from your own mistakes. Choose watching history repeat itself. Choose slow reconciliation towards what you can get rather than what you have always hoped for. Settle for less and keep a brim face on it. Choose disappointment. And choose losing the ones you loved and as they fall from view a piece of you dies with them and until you can see that on one day in the future piece by piece they will all be good and there will be nothing left for you to call alive or dead. Choose your future Veronica. Choose life.'

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Grande Halls aur Gulshan!

A view of Imperial Banquet Karachi source:

We possess culturally and traditionally compatible views about life, love and liberation from being alive. These are our shackles of the civilized world. Nonetheless we adhere to the normality of such kind. The despair is fest upon the failures to comply. The business model of this world is set on these norms, so who am I to detest the terms of business...
Not long time ago, I wrote a sketch on desi weddings, though this time I am going to go through the parameters of logistics and supplies. Though, as I go on to rant out the frustration, nay I say, KP assembly just did that today! The respected house is pondering on putting a cap on wedding expense to 75 thousand rupees. And they are placing a rhetorical ban on dowry, yet again. Dowry, is a cultural and traditional element(CTE), can not be eliminated so easily, along with other bad CTEs. The government usually formulates two kinds of laws, ones that are too good to be implemented and ones which seem potentially popular, both end up creating a nuisance.

It’s the same sort of curb that election commission has of 15 lakhs for a national assembly seat! itnay mein koun larta hai! The truth is, aaj kal kay waqt mein tou 75 hazaar ka koi shadi haal bhi book nahi hota!
Weddings are organized at high cost, dowry tou chorro abb aur bohat karchay hogaye hai! The times are such that a single wedding function goes up to 7 lakh plus for upto 200-300 guests, and the fine photography-turn-cinematography have started to cost up to 5 lakhs itself, and the lehengas, dont get me started!! Punj Punj Lakh da lehnga vi aaj kal changa nihe lagda! dresses and themes just take it off the roof! the logistical support is almost 1-2 lakhs and not to mention the pain bros go through in transporting the cabinet members of the shadi committee! Stereo wala, catering wala and gari wala.. and imagine if bharaat is coming from Karachi to Islamabad!
So, from 15 lakh up to 50 lakhs, is what a metro wedding usually get spend in a month., dowry excluded, aur tax ki to sharaafat say bari hai nahi ayi. In this amount you can get a masters from abroad! Or you can fund three PhDs as well! Just saying..
The point being that if one does not get a big fat desi wedding, the new norm, your life is up for despair. The way I see it! Its up for despair anyway… from the time you caved-in and gave-in to the institution of marriage and wedding.. you were done! –just joking-
or am i?!!
Source: Facebook Memes
5 years ago at the time of marriage aur media, there use to be 3 shows(mendhi, baraat and walima) now its countless, it starts like 2 weeks ago and if your rukhsati is not post nikah .. oh lord! Its like you want to go on a spending spree over this weddings, like it’s a charity for self pity! Itnay armaan aur wo bhi itnay behpanah aur baehaya!
The only business the blooms in Pakistan today are corruption and shadi haals!! Ab tou har chowk par aik hai! We don’t have as many police check posts in town, in a security state, as much, weddings halls are there… and what more, they have NAMES @(*$(#&(%& NAMES!! Marquees, Halls, Banquets, Grands, Hotels, Clubs, open grounds, tents service etc!!
By now you would probably think I hate weddings, well, I don’t hate the players, I just despise the game!
So before I lose all hope in life or life loses hope in me, before I die I feel like I should vent out the views for the people who come after me…the Generation Z!
P.s.  bahi iss dunya mein jo kuda uss ka tou apna self defense bhi koi nahi hai… aur tou aur bahi yeha nichay bohat circus hai aur saray hi yeha ring master banay phirtay hai!! par tum log bhi kiya karo gaye.. Chalay bhi aao kay gulshan ka karobar chalay...

Change aur Chahitay!

Changing to from right to left... literally  This indeed is truly odd, when I try to sum it up. A cascade of cramped up emotions, tha...