Thursday, December 26, 2013

Deal aur duwaa!

whats the deal with next year?
do you think that education is an important part of your life to come?
think again because i am not referring to attaining degrees but learning to live. as human, we are push to answer pains in test, and answering it with the maximum amount you can bare. that is the sort that actually defines you.
life has taken me from rain forest to scorching desert, there and back again. i feel content at times and lost in the other. but hey, i am not here giving advice on secret to success in life and nor is this blog for that purpose.
i am here to share experience.
with age i have realize that:
1. the world is a wonderful place! aint it!
2. you have to live and let live! peace!
3. there is no point to cause harm! its wrong!
4. its better to adapt! thy descartes says!

and still if i thats true. where will you pay for your pizzas, burgers, movies, clothes and haircuts. conclusion being, either your sponsors be nice or you be filthy rich.
to be rich, you cant depend on being an employee for your whole life as you will be given just a share of what you contribute. thing is you got to do business. and to make business success in this land of ours this is whats required:
1. you need to invest and manage it well because profit is a must
2. you need to watch your back because of your competitors
3. you need to befriend a top bureaucrat because he has the key to the system
4. you need to be around politicians because they need neutralization
5. you need to get the generals on your side because that legitimizes you
6. and, you need to be ready for forgeting why you even want to get filthy rich in the first place!

just try finding fun among people around you and keep up the good work in your profession. keep your family and loved ones happy. may you have a good 2014!

p.s. tey meinu duwaa ch yaad rakhna :)

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Aliens aur anjani!

this is the town that has quiet a tendency to have certain lavishness to its lifestyle. you dont owe much to anyone. the life goes on and so does the time. nothing is going to stop you. and among the mist of the demi foreigners, have come a breed of aliens from the city of saints. there is nothing better for us then to enter the lifestyle of the carefree and restless.
initially we tried to make it to take up a desi style but even the phindi-ness from the neighbourhood failed to make it to us. brats were to big to be conscious of any restraints. but still remained within the given options.
one might often wonder what does the city of power hold so different from rest of the mainland and shores. the answer is.. gate pass! its the base camp to any mountain in terms of career or achievements you might look to earn. so if you are a dreamer like us then this is the place to be.
as university just pass right by the last stop, things have started to be less funny and more americano! the pakoras have lost their taste, least for now.
when it comes to getting a place on rent ..the worst backdrop though is the factor of being a bachelor! you are the low lying fornicating druggy to every landlord who has the potential to tease his or her daughter, sisters and wives, and most of all throw the community in to the pits of dark cures of evil letting its men to go astray. So if you get a place to live peacefully, in your imagination. Well, first throw it out in hot air oven and turn the temperature 550 degree celsius .. take it out and dissolve in concentrated acid and waste it in a gutter! second... get married!
p.s. ghoomay inn rhaho say jo anjani hai.. par nasha bhi yaaro kuch aur hi hai!!!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Independence aur indus


The following text might not be funny … I tried!!
The blog is possibly be written by one of the quite-a-bit worn out bloggers. What ever I write is a mixture of tales I come across in my own life and through exposure from observation. This former part my dear readers… is a real hard experience with lots of emotions and pain. Like many, the curse of curoisty and coming across pattern of errors and comedy intact, produced an addict scribbling across this hd screen.

Hey!!!!!!! Do you really want to decide this guy is gonna be the intellectual kaow-all!! Nah!!!

That’s because I have been watching Indian films lately. Makes me think the love is only thing that’s there in world and yes … its real! Other thing is… betrayal is the surprise package. And if you have a thing for cool stuff, then guns are all you ever going to find in there.

Recently bollywood has been taking quiet an interest in the renowned ‘terrorist’ dawood Ibrahim. The person incidentally finds a portray of himself in every other film… the Shootout series, the spy movies like agent vinod, once upon a time in mumbais’, recently .. D-Day… etc etc… Almost glorifying the image of the one of the want damned. One such entire redefined the list of priorities.. if one puts too much wrong in routine messages, people that lie accept as a truth… in this case a gangster may turn idol.

There is a valuable lesson to learn. Stop looking at the world but the life you have. Theres a lot on plate already! For instance Gloria Jeans in the city of saints… where one occasionally smell lads bonding on weed. anh kidding!! who knows.. seriously!! hmmmmm.. But the coffee is better! GJ makes multan look more livable. And as any other Gloria Jeans in country it has its own cult crowd of loyal customers. But the place its placed, well it’s a little tricky.

But  right opposite of the GJ when you look up.. its there. ROOTS in multan! They found a house! Brilliant.. now I can find a child-looking friend and do this…

Me: Hey I want to admit my son in your school.. whats the package?

Receptionist: Well we will drain you off every penny you have but your kid will feel like a burger at the end. Howzat?

Me: Viola! Just what my parents got served as well eh!

Receptionist: Ol’ school, sir!

Me: Brilliant! Come here, my future duplicate of not-at-all-thankful of me! Be mindful of his demons!

School!! A place that teaches history and becomes history.

Talking of history… how about I transfer the knowledge of this region. Its history!

Seriously its patronizing!

The earliest known settlement in Indian subcontinent was reported to be in this Indus region, about 3500 years BC. Indus civilation, Aryans … all stayed here and ruled the rest of india. In last 5000 years the Indian subcontinent was ruled from here! Expect form 150 years of Maurya and the years of akbar the mughal! The point is.. history says that the Indus and its rulers are the real heir to controlling the rest of india.. or there is some afghani, irani who can run you over as well… but you would get it back!

But what you cant get is the right to enter in a shopping mall on independence day, as a i-do-no-harm guy!..... Families only! Well let me tell them a story… the place a few miles away called as the cantt bazaar.. has kept there stuff together all the rainy days since the last … I don’t know… the very day they constructed it! True business bloke!

You better have a more responsible security set upright! Then denying costumers!

Now the notion to end this piece is the one which a recently came across with an old friend of mine… the most rehearsed sentence of our generation….. and the generation before that…

Parents: ‘Hum logo ko kia mu dikaye gaye’ -with a pinch of repentence for us-

If you have heard it before… High five! Parents are fantastic people with aspirations and assumption, who have brought us up. I don’t think they need to bother much about anything… They are beautiful people! :)

P.s. remember  that 6 lane road with service road on each side. Yeah! That one! Pray it is completed sooner! Its been AGESSS!!! O.o

Sunday, August 4, 2013

DreamLand aur DreamGirl

This blog is a work of fiction. Has a lot of resembles to real life characters. Still the blogger takes no responsibility. Believe what you want. Up to you saeen! sayoeni!! The one freedom I am happy to charter.
Today is 14 August 2013…
66th anniversary of spirit of Pakistan…
Independence Day of Islamic Republic of Pakistan…
5 million people decided to migrate to their land of theirdreams! They sacrificed their lives but the spirit survived. Since then we battled thrice against a superior enemy and faced numerous catastrophes now and then. Not only that, in current time, every other day we are inflicted atrocities by terrorists. But the spirit is thriving because that which can not kill it, makes it stronger…. Pakistan Zindabad!

That’s what I can use for the start a speech on independence in my own place! No one is interested in patriotic rhetoric meant to patronize them. Quom magti hai roti, kapra aur makaan…but do you also know that during the Kargil war the nation’s esteem and government(struck by worst economy, foreign sanctions, sectarianism) approval, spiked like the heart of guy’s heartbeat on watching katrina’s item number.
I have witnessed a Indian Harvard Professor Raj Chetty talk on the recession of American dream, giving the glimpse of the extent of presence of Indians in the top academic factories manufacturing knowledge… kaash Pakistani bhi iss kadar raaj jaye!! Hamaray bhi hazaaro student top 100 universities mein parh ley yar!!!
Since the making of Pakistan everything in Pakistan has changed… we left lassi, grabed a coke… left shalwaar kameez, put on branded jeans wear, left desi ghee wala paratha, feed ourselves with junk food… left urdu, mumbled out English(at the highest inability of the handicapped)… all in the name of Globilization!
And in terms of simple girls, fancied… chamek challos, cheeki chambelis and jawan sheelas… but … when it comes to the oldest institutions of this region.. Family. the first, pillar comes to mind… marriage.
Bahi is ka kuch nahi badla… aaj bhi wohi throne ridden process hai
Ab koi bhi DreamGirl ko pasand kar kay beth sakta tha … when the tables change .. got to the next step. The coke drinking, levi’s wearing, KFC fed and English speaking goes on to fall in love with chamek-ful, cheeki-ous and jawaan-est Girl! Well that would be the only part that would be best. Next….
Gazeb hogaya ji!!
INDIGENOUS MINISTRY FOR MARRIAGES, since the time when power was handed to those who have the least at stake!
I wondered that people here ever came out of a marriage proposal process and said… Dude! I think I just got wasted!
In city of saints… I wish the saints could do anything about this ministry too.. this thing has created and still creates more violence, injustice and fear than anything else…TERRORISM AT ITS WORST.
I am here not to be some Edward Snowden, but that grumpy old uncle who just stood in for an hour in the bank to get his pension which had recently had cut in health allowance and saw the senior citizen leverage go down the drain. Yeah! the things are going worst!
Stand up! If you can…
You want to end corruption!! Well end this!! If you can!!
Educate your parents, relatives, friends! If you can??!!! Oh wait.. yeh kaam USAID wallo ka hai!
Amerikiou hamari sari cheezay change kar dali par puttar yeh marriage system teray haat nahi laga! I wish if Warren Buffet could invest in independence of marriages!!!
P.S. DreamLand (expensive plot) = DreamGirl (Her Majesty).. phir vi rolla mukna nai ! na guarantee no way out! May the fittest groom win! :/
Ab to seenay pey chapkaye photo fevicol say :P

Monday, July 1, 2013

Degree aur Darbari

anchoring at the shore of degreehood is like having a life-long lesson of revelations that all the perceptions were false and all the norms preached were fraud. first of all.. degree gives you no garantees and infact expecting garantees is like going against its spirit in the first place. mostly in that case you will seriously be looking into the face of uncertainty for certain.
the best/worst part of undergrad is that it has all the elements of making one a 'tailor-stretched' employee, ready 24/7 to put up with anything. You get to say a flattery when you dont mean it and get betrayed my fellows in midst of their schemes and be alright with it, to some numb extent.
and as they say be careful for what you wish for because you just might get it. reality of this life is that exams teach us that taking any measures to satisfying your needs is the way to do it.... easing the way to corruption endurance for the future or play your part.
but does getting knowledge helps when you when you have been addicted to the thrills of excitement and adrenaline... well the answer is NO because technically that is boring. mind you, a student never likes to be bored but only entertained.
what a mismatch? sad indeed.
now talking of the schemes of your fellows i mentioned earlier. apart from blabbing, its the moment which reminds one to be shrewd and sharp at every step. one must not fall for a trap of being brought down my more-so-mortals or be played for their gains, unless if its your teacher... then its for the sake of knowledge and higher truth or whatever.
there are often two reasons for searching divine guidance.. firstly, grave academic rattle snake pit situation or secondly ... LOVE. but that is an everyday routine. you never know which comes first or hits together. 
i personally saw both sides of the fences with places which offer a hefty breakfast of channay roti for 35 rupees and places that charge over 600 rupees for a burger. well you see the prioities you might have to make in the time to come.
but WITHOUT the fun part being laid to rest! Alas! this post wont be complete. undergrad is the last and the most near-identical station that comes before careful town of people who dont blow their parents money like the dirt on their hands. so all that we get to do is like the buffet of things one can do before that.
hey but let bygones be bygones... the petrol is feels like well away to land of 150 in years from now.. near my paychecks and the tax on the easyloads!! life to comes with all lot more issues right!
'and there are people who forget what it's like to be 16 when they turn 17. i know these will all be stories someday. and our pictures will become old photographs. we'll all become somebody's mom or dad. but right now these moments are not stories.' *plagiarized lines of wisdom* (an act we often come across as students)
P.S. iss degree ko lou aur darbari scene kay liye ready ho lo kiun apni nahi chalni boss... if you YOU find yourself and your niche.. you know what i mean :D

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Capital aur Kehfeeyat



The capital and its capital taxes!
Well the city and its inhabitants and forsaken rulers have willfully transformed the status of the city to ROME!
The difference between the indigenous of city of saints and the inhabitants of the new Rome is that these inhabitants would still wave for a car lift unlike the shy and forcefully decent/respectful multanites!
Every Roman thinks the Rome belongs to his dad. You get to see that when a society-average humiliates a banker and claims to know his paycheck!
If rome could have taxed itself, I would not have the need to do it to the entire kingdom!
These are like the few statements/rants I felt liberating off myself. It started with witnessing lavish lifestyle of anchors riding on cherry red Mercedes to slightly arrogant celebrities eating at MacDonald’s, while the posh kids were just driving the BMWs. And most of all, the curious case of PTI votes, vehemently discussed among my peers.
Well when everything was of the taste of driest morning bread stuck annoyingly to your gum, with addition flavour of - no electricity running the fan to least throw down a wave of … even hot air! …. - you wonder that complaining of your country’s downward spiral is so widely accepted and embraced, our cricketers take it a one swing further down-the-ground. Something they capaciously manage not to do in the game.
Well what could I do next but escape to a foreign retreat to football and Manchester United. Oh! Crap! Fergie just left! ……..
WHY?!!!!!! O.o
Is there any good news revolving anywhere. Noise, Noise, Noise. Kim Kadashian just had a baby with Kanye West. Noise, Noise, Noise.
Ahem. Well I suppose the world is best at what is does. Making itself more complex, worthless to be understood in depth.
Its summer and if the life has given you lemons this season. Its AWESOME!! Go make some lemonade.
Kiun kay bahi shareef tax bari ajab kehfeeyat hai ji! Kahi yeh aap kay lemons par hi na lag jaye first july say!
P.S. get it while its still free… oxygen, ignorance, uth wali sim etc :P

Monday, May 20, 2013

Ball aur Bablo



11 May aka the judge’s day out with election commission, which had millions of young women and men trying to determine the direction of PTI in domestic policies to ensure their family’s rich survival and years as burgers. Either Imran Khan or Nawaz Sharif, whoever wins the much anticipated friendly match for the given day till this government remains.
With average age of marriage for men rising to 29 – making a more desperate edition of the lovelorns  and women to 23 – making a more desperate edition of not-so-impressed. One of the major factors contributing to this, including greater pressure for keeping up with your mother’s wish and near completion of degree in Zalalaat(Hons).
Now over 20 million of reckless are torchbearers to strengthen the institution of marriage and foremost, family…. aur bablo! Government that forms this summer has to envision this snow ball that’s going to come on, along with bablo(s)!
The first six points that a sincere-to-youth government has to look at are these:
1.      Income
There is nothing more important for a young aspiring couple than a stable source of income. Now government should either create 10 million jobs in next 2 to 3 years or facilitate small businesses improvised by these young men and women that can not only empower them but also strengthen economy and create further jobs. Because paisay ho gaye to bablo is gonna land on earth ji! waisay to bablo bagair paisay kay bhi aah jata hai, par uss say masla bara hota hai!
2.       Health
Facilities in hospital should be improved on emergency bases. The latest diagnostic technology should be ensured in every hospital that should be provide free of cost diagnostic tests. Quality child birth facility should be ensured in every government hospital to not only save the life of the child but also the mother. Warna bablo ki aaj ki sehat ka kal qoum ki sehat par bora asar paray ga!
3.       Education for Children
Major Concern for any young couple is education of their children. Education, as we all know, is very expensive even at the level of toddlers. This is a financial pressure that is not justified for a family that is trying to hold its ground in the starting. So, free and quality education in government schools should not only be ensured with highest possible education budget but steps should also be taken to have one system of education placed in entire country to eliminate the current existing classes of education(rich to poor). Because bablo private schoolou mein iss blog kay writer ki tarha kharab ho jaye ga!
4.       Brainstorming
Like America, Pakistan should not have an ‘slightly spoiled American Dream’, where the young is focusing on the luxurious life. We are not a developed country and excessive expenditure on luxury items is simply going to add burden to list of bills. Nation building should involve brainstorming of the sort in which a simple and articulate life style is promoted. This will not only give raise to a happy family but a happier community. Because bablo is not to be brought up like a Barbie but like a dexterous brainiac!
5.       Food
Pakistan is an agricultural economy but nonetheless here is where the government should implement lower taxation as well. The lowering of food prices is necessary for developing a healthier generation. Malnutrition is a key challenge, and this should be dealt on priority basis. Protein food should get maximum subsidies. Kiun kay bablo khaaye ga nahi tou bara kaisay hoga!?!!
6.       Shelter
Real estate is forecasted to boom in this country. But the rising prices are only going to add up as a pain for millions dreaming to attain a cover for ones’ own family. Now either government could repeat the affordable flat scheme that was once launched in 90s in Islamabad or control the cost of real estate. Government should work on rent control and facilitating lower and middle income housing, before its too late! Par iss ka bablo say koi tahloq nahi!!
At the end let me remind my government of section 35 of the constitution of Pakistan – ‘the state shall protect the marriage, the family, the mother and the child.’



P.S. BABLO ZINDABAD!! :D

Sunday, January 27, 2013

kids aur khaandan

Warning: the following blog post is a public awareness message!
even in one's wildest dreams, one is least probable to dream a 5 year old running a bull cart!
i saw that happen!! and i was not in spain or mexico... but in the very own, city of the saints situated in the land of the pure.
kids in this city are truly gifted with exceptional super powers. they can make you smile, cry and super angry! all at the same time. with gross sledges, cunning statements and innocent eyes, these agents of mankind's survival are the best of their kidkind.
we do think at times that its hard to handle kids, least i do, but at the same time having kids in your family is a sign of continuity of race, caste and creed, making it worth the effort. In long run, though, leading to the formation of cults and prejudice for each one e.g. arain, jatt, gujjar, rajput, awan etc, each with the weirdest mode of khandaani bonding.
but kids are what you transfer to them in terms of manners and attitude, in terms of education and grooming, not just genes.
living in a stressful society where the fertility rate is falling down like stocks of peace in international wartime stock-exchange, one has to look beyond the conventional beliefs. married couples without a child, should adopt underprivileged and orphan kids who can equally be the true agents of happiness. these kids have more radiating happy genes in them then those who trouble their marriage on the bases of fertility and not to speak the gender of kid as well. the time has come that the society balances its act and embraces life! Welcome to the modern world!

Friday, January 4, 2013

Darts aur dhaakay



Now the fact of the matter is – in your final year of undergrad in university, you are burned out, drained and have absolute no taste of fun. The only thing that nearly qualifies as fun is a free lecture!
After getting done with the weeks routine of restlorn days I embarked on a hangout with similarly worn out   traveler from a far away land. We started off with intellect drown journey in the city of saints. But was not far from its inevitable end. The intellect nowadays is not in fashion here.
We entered in a pizza restaurant in prospectively MM Alam road of this city. We look around and try finding a peaceful corner to continue a critical dilemma. When we found a seemingly deserted end. We settled down. Viola! Right when he placed his laptop on the table, we hear that the far end of the section is occupied by teenagers!
And right after that disappointment, we are further disturbed by the receptionist in a 'you-londas-get out- of- here' manner! Now what the heck went wrong. No reservation sign. No intimation to us when we entered that site. And how rude!
The traveler got agitated and refused to leave his ground!
The next we know. The manager of this reputed chain of restaurants arrives and offers a much due apology and clarifies that the birthday party is not be crashed by even decent bloke! Because the teenagers are what happens to be – ‘females’ and we are in the city of saints!
Thankyou but no thank you. We get off and settle in a more culturally acceptable location to have a go at darts and try to hit the bull’s eye.
Dhaakay dey kar nikalata hai yeh muvashra intellects ko!!
-this society  kicks intellects out of it- and with pleasure . 
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