Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Imagination aur intakhab!

I came across a very interesting inspcrition, while sittiing in a texan-cow-boy-themed restaurant. It went like this:
"Guns don't kill, but fathers with beautiful daughters do!"
Becoming single in recent past plus holding the current title of confused-to-mingle, this was a self-serving message and an important reminder.
Every now and then, in moments of weakness, when sight falls upon some gorgeous looking, glamourous female with glorious features, the dubious imagination of mine tend to take a sudden turn toward the peron-in-focus's gazetted hero... Her...OOO... papa jani!
- A man with big mustache (Gama Pehalvan) and thick eye brows (Captain Cook) holding a double barrel gun (Sean Connery's from the Rock) in his hands -
Hence before the flower of hope gets a chance to blossom up, I have it incinerated by my undertaker-of-an-imagination.
And friends, make no mistake, there was one girl in white shirt with blue jeans, wearing a cow-girl hat.
Alas! this is not to be a story where harry meets sally, but, a story of 'how to lose it in split of dad-struck imagination.
tou ab baal banaye kis kay liye...
But when I look around, I see a different breed of men, I see the ones who seem ignorant or worse, insensitive, to imagination induced fears, the perks of realism. I see hope in their perverted-look smiley faces and confidence in their ghastly ravaging glares.They have sensed. They have learned. They are the kominas of the town. I am not. I feel like a lost boy with no plan.
par harry ki sally say mulaqaat tou na howi, magar ginny us mohabat karti hai....
What I Think: "So much faith now relies on elegant shoulders of this talent-hunter of a girl. The one who sees me as the 'perfect' suitor(not shooter!) for her"... I know right!!?
-Foreva Alone!-
But I am not... Boys like me have overconfident mothers, who happen to overestimate their sons. According to mothers, the poor 'we' are suspected susceptible cases of 'severely suffering from a parasitic girlfriend'. And so, 'we' as the princes of our majestic Queens, need constant observation and counseling to scare away the demons of the girl. Therefore, rises the Great-grand phenomena of the 'Saas'
- The equally scary version of Gama Pehalvan/Captain Cook/Sean Connery's double barrel gun holding dad of your crush-
P.s. saas bahu ho ya susaar damaad...
      iss masharay mein hai bohat say khoulay tazaad... 
      tou ho koi larki ya larka... 
      souch samaj kar karay intakhab...

Friday, March 13, 2015

Nation aur Nafrat!

A girl goes up to the Drugstore, and asks for a loaded gun. Upon inquisition she reveals that she is suffering from a bad case of rishta-walas. So, in order to recover from the ordeal, the quick fix she believes is... shooting the menace!
Bachelor ki tou life haram hai!
This 'good' forsaken nation of newly-weds, seems to be obsessed with marriages and obese-due-to-walimas. Every time one drives at evening, all you find is flower-pasted luxury cars. Queues of motor-cads  with hazard mode on... is it not the ultimate irony?
Well to tell you the truth, there is nothing more from my end on nuptials... the thoughts have bled and I feel better.
Here, in this big town, with big people and even bigger egos ... with biggest insecurities, when in all the day's work ends, what one really wants is to avoid slightest of talks with the most irritating individuals living in nearest of vicinities.
Yar, kash iss kay moun na lagna parta! saray mood ka satiya naas kar diya hai!
This person of diabolical personality, can be anyone, your relative, colleague, next door neighbour, kin, landlord, or even the watchman. It may either depend on the certain disposition you are in at that certain moment. But for those who bother us to such height of excruciating madness, we have a cunning plan....
Bhaarh mein jayee! -to hell with ________ (the person in focus)-
No love casket is full enough for you, to tolerate the f**ker!
Guys! Guys! Guys! what I feel is that we are past that age of eating burgers! Kfc(insulting to the race of burgers), McDonald, Hardees, Fat Burger, Johnny Rockets, Burger King... they all are mediocre prehistorice! Pizza is in fashion and passion! and i am not talking about that piece of s**T the bakeries sold you before the arrival of Pizza hut!
Thing is if your mother, wife or sister... or father, husband or brother.. in case... cooks something you don't like, put some sauce of tomato and a slice of cheese on the meal and VIOLA! its an eatable! that is what the legend of pizza taught me! You know what ... take that as a tip of the day for me!
Inspiration! Inspiration! Inspiration! we watch movies, go out to places, spend money on things... even ruin weekends on cricket! but if its not there... where is it!?? Well.... in a cup of tea! the fuel that is actually running this country, from offices to roads... and LEGALLY!
IS...Tough! Tough! Tough! a life of newly-out-of-university is tough! just the look at your newly out paycheck breaks the dreams out of your heart! unless you are anointed! then you have profits!
My friends life is as long as we live... is it not!? unless you are a political leader! then life is as long as you are in assembly or senate(If you have a lot of money in the bank!) ... if you can read, then try reading literature and not people, especially not with an empty stomach... it can cause ulcerative socialitis... a disease has not found its cure yet!
p.s. iss dunya mein, itna pyar karnay wala tum par nazar nahi rakhta, jitna nafrat karnay wala rakhta hai! hatred kills... stay safe!

Heart wreck aur Bardast!

Today while I sit in front of my laptop, I don’t think of the stress related to work, jeopardies of studies or pending tasks back at hom...