Thursday, August 21, 2014

Mission aur Mutmaeen!



The tale of this land of pure is about Allahditta, Mauladitta and Peeraditta. The defining names of our religious predispositions. While in the society, you meet the each with a certain characteristic. There are those who will criticize you due to their genetic disease of perceptual superiority, there are those who will criticize you due to their ocular issues of believing that all are hopeless but themselves and then there are those who don’t give a crap about the former or the latter, thus, have to put up with them. Such people deserve a free weekly jar of coffee.
Nowadays, there is a lot, like A REAL LOT!! Emphasis on quality of leadership. Leaders are reflection of their people. When I see these shares on facebook, considering Prime Minister to be ‘mutmaeen baygairat’, it just reaffirms this.
We all want to be ‘mutmaeen baygairat’!
For all those who argue that we have had, throughout our lives, desires… that were not timely fulfilled. We achieve some substantial ground for it, grounds on which the stakes of our survival happens to balance itself upon. If we had had what we desired on time of request, then we.. they emotional fools, would be living in gutter by now!
Coming back to this community-deep issue of baygairati…. Look at our singers. They all were kings of the hill. A friend of mine, use to say a thing about Jal:
yar in sab ko aik aik baachi dekh dou. In ko sakoon hojiye ga. Aram  say beth jaye gaye.’
Look around today, Ali Azmat, Atif Aslam, Gohar Mumtaz, Abrar ul Haq, Haroon etc etc. ever since they got married- Viola! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! There goes their music down the toilet flush. What the fuss!  Meet the ‘mutmaeen baygairat’ of our country.
Lesson to be learned for the current government, though, is … IK has money, power and fame, but after all he is from the land of the pure! Get him married again!!! There goes the politics down the lake behind bani-gala! Shala tuwako saraya nu bhaa lagi ray! Mulk da kukh nahi chora tussah
For the sustained lack of self-realization, the sitting government deserved endless supplies of beta-blockers!
As for the commoners, men and women in the modern world have to worry about their work and identity, over the period of time. Here, in third-grade world-of-cleanly-improvised-pure, things are easier. Except for the fact that we are ungrateful fools. Thing is, when, you are guaranteed about a life, husband or wife and entity! Why would you waste time and effort on getting them all by yourself and mou kal karaying! When culture and tradition is offering so much… so much!!!! MAGAR-MUCH!!  then why.. beta why!!!! in hell, does one has to land in hot waters. All you have to do is to make the best of your ambitions in your work. If only we were objectively individualist, then this land of pure would have been an international giant! Beta WO BHI GREEN HULK-WALA JAISA! We don’t have to be high on weeds! Or rage endless wars! Its pretty simple! You need to see a psychiatrist and get some antipsychotics
But no! mein na mano ga!! Every man has to have a drive for buying an awesome car, a beautiful house and get a perfect job…. To get a good market price and achieve hot girl jo tottay ura dey!
For girls… they have to keep their dignity, get a degree and fashion up to the mark! To get a reasonable groom jo film-hero-fit bhi ho aur dad-standard-reliable bhi!
Now its time for antidepressants!
But after all this, still cant study, make a mark and slap silly all the senior citizens who are responsible for all these problems of young generation. Yes! It is not our problem! Its theirs… maybe its part of our culture to be forgiving and absorbing all the guilt of being right…
 But here I am and there you are. The loin searching for a historian, while the hunter stand as glorified!
Hum theiray bachelor salay! Aur tum shadi-shoday champions of the current system! What glory is in  that…. What glory is in winning your love affair! what glory in surviving one love affair! Hum aik baar jitay hai aur aik baar martay hai.. aur agay ki line boul gaiii :P

Ab lou baba ji a manjan! Jo daant kay saat saat, akal ko bhi saaf kar dey…

Na saeen na!! things are not as such… sab jhoot hai… the key to everything... ji wohi key! that key is revolved back to start, till becoming finally successful! Phir akhiri bhi pehla hi hota hai!

p.s. par jab itnay say khoparay mein itni saray baatein ghoomnay lag jati hai tou… yeh sari caffeine, beta blockers, antipsychotics, antidepressants aur baba ji kay majan ka interaction, side effect ka kabara kiya, aik taraf… thoughts ka interaction hi band baja dehta hai.. and patient suffers from Pyar howa aur rul marray Disease (PharmD) followed by mutmaeen bayhaad-waali baygairati syndrome(MBBS) ! Jiye Dawayia!!

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Superstitions aur saray log

Note: the deliberate frequent use of small letters, was to avoid nazar.... NOT!! the writer was just deliberately frequently lazy!!

yes, i wrote down this post on a piece of paper, basically to drive away the demons... NOT!! i am just kidding, i was being old school!

we are losers, arent we? still we are going with flow.
we lose opportunities, like men lose hair nowadays. one at a time, when we are not looking and several, when we actually start looking! by which i mean running a hand through your hair and end up with high numbers ending up among your fingers. ignorance is often a bliss, right?
Moral of the the hair-fall and tale of lost opportunities: desperation takes the best of you!
superstitions to me are like those clerics that feed on your anxiety and insecurity.
  • you wont use your left hand in doing some task, as bad omen might strike you..
  • you wont tell a friend you are studying because it might cost you a bad grade...
  • you wont check-in on facebook because your 'list of jealous friends', is going to curse you to hell...
  • you wont share your plans with someone because the devil might drag you to failure...
  • you wont travel this weekend because your sitaray are not in your favour... 
blah blah blah etc etc etc... a few things superstitions tries on everyone..

But struck by such obsessions, coming from the city of saints, where people are sweet and kind, as well as doubtful and speculative... superstitions takes the best of us all.
stuck within the vase, the genie offers voodoo dolls and scented scriptures.
There was a time when rulers of this land of pure, were determine not to have an Eid with two sermons. (Thank GOD it was not Friday!)
the Legend says your rule can slip away, Sir!
After such happenings, you shall fall for bad decisions, poor management and international pressure. and Viola! your fellow comrade is the new dictator! -Karma served-

I remember a decade ago there was a letter that revolved around the city, that stated its origins from some sort of arab moors, and demanded to be distributed in ten folds, in order to save the reader from a consequential impending doom. this superstition took the best of people and hence ended up at half of doorsteps of the neighbourhood.
if only i could find the first perpetrator, i would surely have made a pizza out of that letter and fed it to each bit of that fool.
But this sh*t has got to a whole new level with facebook evangelicals..
nowadays, you can be certified for hell upon not sharing a post!
aint that just lovely..
there is a place in this world for people like these, its called an asylum.
May the sanity prevail! dont do superstitions!
p.s. tamaam sitaray aur siyaray sirf asmaan ki zeenat kay liye upar lagay howay hai! nah kay aap kay jaisay saray logo ki muskil zindagi ki zimadari lenay kay liye - Wazarat-e-Nijaat-e-Jahalat, Hakumat-e-Aakal-istan! Jashan-e-Azadi Mubarak!

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Victims aur Vehari



So the ceremonious Eid has come to an end. The life is back to its usual turtle pace again, although I still can not find time for my endless joys. But coffee always helps!
I gave a visit to my saint home, this summer, AGAIN!
The streets were dug up. The people well mortified. The gas stations were out of gas(as well as petrol, a new high). And the recently built ‘namesake of an (N) MNA surname’ road, was on the verge of tearing apart, like literally. A board across the wall of the famous science college of the city of saints, had the picture of unfortunate previous-national-assembly-hopeful, who failed to secure a seat in the constituency…. declaring the arrival of METRO!
-Face palm-
For last 5 years the people of the town suffered from pain… gave their blood, sweat and tears to the construction.. not the mention the cars that died with twisted axles and bikes that choked on their own shocks!!
Just when they thought it was over…. They dragged them back into the .  
(Say hi to anti-allergies!! You victims of bad administration and worse political decisions!!!)
After a few days of apprehension, I took a turn towards Dehli. From the city of saints I went on a journey to Vehari.
To my surprise the road was the best part. It reinforced on me as to what the motorways and the highways are missing…. Life!
One of the most beautiful road trips, with bowing trees and green fields all around. It was a nostalgic flash back to some euro road trip with running horses and bright sun light. One can capture a perfect romantic song for a film on it!
Although in the current state of the land of pure, this was a container-less road!! as well as, for a fact, this road did not have a single toll plaza. Best things in life are indeed for free!
Interestingly enough, this city which was part of the Indus civilization, has yet to attain full access to gas! With such high caliber politicians in this town, it’s a sad reality.

p.s. aur dou vote galat logo ko! :/

Heart wreck aur Bardast!

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