Thursday, December 31, 2015

Bewitched aur Baraat!

Part 1 – Aaj ka main headline feature -
Love that gets fulfilled should be like magical. How would one define magic?! Well, it is something after which you don’t need to post facebook status, check-ins, how you feeling, random frequent mobile uploads of romanticized stills, selfies… most of all, the need to have an attentive response from peers giving you a subconscious certificate on your self-actualization.
Is this love and all?  Is this the magic you wish to create or will you let it happen by itself?! Thing is, in other words, love should be able to get your head out of facebook and deliver what you have been trying to zabardasti drain out of facebook.
Love should not be phupo ji ka argument that has to be proven wrong. You don’t have to raise the same hell forsaken argument with a higher pitch to your phupo, the poor lady is going to bring up a new one every now and then. So if you start chasing each one of them, you are going to miss on the presence of moment with your family.
Same is whats with love and social media. We are not celebrities, who survive and thrive on these sort of behavior, we do it at the expense of our real life experience of the moment. One does not have to give in to the urge of inducing the same aw factor on to the social media, which one had earlier experienced last year, this time along. So, today that ‘I am ‘just’ married’, will tomorrow be ‘our new baby ‘just’ out of operation theatre’, to ‘our pet cat ‘just’ died’ ending with having an accident ‘just’ taking a selfie on the dream road!
In this last week of December, I have attended quite many weddings already. None were mine or those of any of my bros. They probably are occupied with worries about survival of their swag, possibility of ever finding true love, ‘janu I luv u’ talk on cellphones, or ‘yar bhook lagi hai, bhar chalay’.
There are so MANY weddings going on this season, that at times I wonder about these frequent page updating administrators, yar aap ko kisi nay shadi pey nahi bolaya. I have not seen such a traffic block at 8-10 pm every day on consistent basis… anth barat mahool banaya wa hota hai! There tends to be a perfect trilogy of pattern, the rise of baraat, the baraat in action, and baraat returns.
After attending all these wedding invitations, there are many uninvited engagement ceremonies I have realized I was ignored at. I being a charra(bechalor + single + male Pakistani + age in 20s/30s) feel offended when I unfortunately meet these guilty parties, it is as if I am plagued and should feel inferior to them, I feel offended when they mention being engaged in such precautious manner as if I have a jinx and will bewitch them. Well it is not me, its them! Who put a curse on my joy of life. Live and let live, morons!! GET A LIFE! – kuch zaida tou nahi hogaya, sorry yar bahi ghussa kar gaya tha
Part 2 – Aur baki news-
There is one other epic trilogy that came around this winter,’ STAR WARS- Sitaro ki jang’, ironically when I was watching this first installment, in theatre, another of the year’s earthquake rocked the city. All I felt like was a presence of brat, sitting behind me who could be having leg fits. Though while the intergalactic battle was on the screen, probably my sitaray were in right position(pun intended) and I came out alive.
Remember that we are no giving enough rights to balouchis, this time we crossed all limits, by depriving them of Nargis Fakhri! Yes, the red hot scintillating cover that featured on the front page of each newspaper, failed to rise in Quetta. To this hammering of equal opportunities birthright ignored, some real reconciliation might need to be carried. Viola! We just had a Ufone rebuttal version, looks like the balouchi revenge!
In the other news, city of saints, previously bent on suppressing its female population, recently killed Tutti Frutti.
P.s. All Pakistan Mufta Uranaywalay, Fukray and Taaro Association(MUFTA) message to all members: Yeh anth baraat mahool aap sab ko mubarik ho. Baraati honay say pehlay apnay bhaiyo ko yaad rakhay.. Apnay iss keemti waqt mein mil kay mufta lagaye aur bachiya tarray!
P.p.s. In 2015, I learned to dance on tunes of pumpy songs, so, 2016 might get someone to replace them.

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