Sunday, August 21, 2016

Darkness aur Darna!

Disclaimer: the following post is a requital for the last masla-typo blog post... it is a return of the DARK SIDE! very very dark!! so brace yourselves, you just might wake some inner demons of yours.

The night was in, the life was dark. The time was stopping. The hopes were sailing away. I wish in times like these I could rescue my own soul. For when you wait for messiah, and lifeline, you are so in the mist of hanging in the sea, knowing nowhere to be.
So while I sit here in this high room from where I can look over the rest of this Capital city. There is no shred of any oversight, just despair. There are no rocks. The empty space inside is composed of the void that had to be created and it was an idea whose time had come. Pain my friend, I found you again on my side, dancing in this space with me.
Life was what I perceive of my own existence. It’s as hollow as the rainy day that arouse no emotion, that sunset that attracts no praise… its sadder than a survival run. And of this life, in its mysterious ways is so sarcastic, makes your losses a win and that win a loss, all lost in relative improvisation.
So, now while I sit in this room wondering about my life, the idea! It is not water, fire, dust or air, it is what it is, something I can’t fix in a bottle or possess in my pocket. I am its disciple. My desire is happiness and that my peace’s enemy. So I chose the darkness that leaves me with no hopes and lesser side effects.
Do I figure out my struggle? Oh believe me, there is a struggle! Always. It’s the monotony that I follow. Some night drive on empty roads, the moments abandoned by the rest of the society. I choose them, it is my specialty. It is a miserable sea, but the sail is mine, it is what I ‘like’ to be.
So, when you read this weird summary, a gross generalization, know this… I don’t expect anyone to comprehend or follow the logical chronology that is surely going to go unrecognized. It is a fate that I know already. Though, maybe, on some sentence, some level, we might connect to some extent.
So when I am going to end this, I write with no intent to defend. The reaching out the in world process is far out of my capacity to bear. While the world dissolves around me, there is nothing to be. Believe me I don’t care, I just can’t. I am sinfully indifferent, even to my own bland destruction.

p.s. reflecting on your existence is part of your individuality..
but to end on a positive note, remember in darkest of time, 
batti jalana na bholay! shamjdar kay liye ishara hi kafi hai! Darna mana hai!

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