Mediocrity aur Mangni!

To start with, I will go ahead with a sarcastic joke: 

A 9 year old son asks his father, ‘baba, what is mangni?’, the father replies,’son, it is the desi wedding proposal, where the results are already fixed by the umpires’. -nahi ayi hansi... ani bhi nahi chahiye, zara sochiye!-

Living amongst the two very similar rivals with iti-kuttay-da-wair, I wont mind spending more than half of your budget on defense. The point is, the money that is allocated for health or education, should be based on a proper vision and clarity, with inference of successful outcome. Last but not the least, none of the money should go to waste, thus, a transparency shall be implemented.

Humbleness is key to a mediocre life.

The fact the more you are grateful about things, the better it is. The reason behind is simple, in this frustrated and deprived country that is also over-populated, the thing is you have one item and 100 applicants, so the insecurity is obvious! Kabhi valima peh mehmaano ko khanay pey totay dekha hai??!! Some similar sort of insecurity runs illogically and unstoppable among the veins of our country men. As a result we forget what we have been given and end up with list of things we have lost.

Why mediocrity? The fact is, its good to be mediocre, if it makes you happy, once you are happy and content, then you are no more mediocre, it’s a bad version of catch-22. And the point of being over populated, well, imagine if we were among only the 1/5 of the population, what then?! Chota kumba, khushal gharana!

I mean think about it! That day when you are driving in a dense traffic and all of a sudden ninety percent of the traffic just vanishes… WOOSH!! Just like that! And the cars ahead of you are gone, and the road is absolutely clear. How awesome is that! My friends.. just imagine. Just sit back on your chair, and take a deep gentle breath … and imagine! hmmmmmmm....

But peace is not exciting, stress is!

Sitting on the driving set of a fast moving train in a densely populated area is challenging, but if you start to get over that fear, start to enjoy the edge. Its your passport visa to growing as a person. You have got to break a few eggs to make an omelet. And in this case, the eggs better be your neighbours', if its your first time.

So, fixed matches, good governance, mediocrity, lowering population and tale of beaten eggs… we come to this country’s hot topic, khanay mein kiya hai?! Kutta karahi, khota kabab, pajjay dey pehray paye…. a food dilemma for the nation. I mean what can you do. How have we come to be so liberal at our food selection. As if the bull's reproductive cells were not enough for energy drinks and porcine derivatives for making potato chips! This is a constipated dilemma.

As a nation we are good with humour, least lahoris are! Its like our last smoke… and thus, into the fray my friends…

p.s.  barya cigarette petay hi har shaakhs ko maaf karnay to ji karta hai. Khawa, wo rishtaidaar hi kiun na ho! – Mushtaq Ahmad Yousufi

Hangover aur Hansna!

Apparently the writer has caught fire, is on fire or is getting fired… But its real, this is history… two blog posts in a row, in one day… the-vele-hangover-write amigos!!!

Nowadays we don’t believe in ourselves, as much as we believe in love. Getting the soulmate through this belief is far more clear to us than the job status in next 5 years. I mean, this is how filmi we have become. And it gets difficult to cure yourself once you are in mist of people suffering from schizophrenia too.

Well the state in am right now is a little logical. The daily routine is getting up before rush hour, reaching my workplace, performing the duty, getting back home, dealing with the chorus at home and falling asleep. I mean the life has come to an all time clumber-wumper, that when I had to call an old chuddy-buddy, and I could not find his number in my cell phone. The odd moment when you forget that you actually saved your buddy’s contact over his nickname. –face palm- -high five to self-

Life is crazy – or I have gone hazy!

There are times, one is pinched by self-actualization. When one feels like doing something that will define oneself. Boost their power, bank account or number of admirers!! You know… getting to do something by thinking out of the box, something not so mainstream, something different! But most of the time this ‘something’ needs ‘sum of money’ and a thing between your ears. Thus, one is left stranded. The sum was spent last night and number of other nights on partying and the thing between the ears has been fried-up by the ‘mist of people’ you are in.

 But don’t worry my dear believer, you will find numerous shrewd people living that in this metropolitan city, without any real ambition to make real difference. They just focus on the greenback! Sadly they are right… once one is hostage to this crowd, Stockholm syndrome does not take long to sink in, thus, many have fallen before you! Money is sweet, notoriously tastes and smells like victory.

So now, do in Rome want Romans do! As Descartes maxim say, which he wrote in Discourse on Method, for practical life till the finding of truth! Though he basically considered the first three as major but the fourth nontheless was included inspite of his doubts.....
1. Respect, in real means, for the societal norms as well as adherence to the practices of the sensible, for the course of your actions.. in other words, gel in.
2. Pursuit yet even on the most doubtful paths when adopted.. aik dafa commitment karlo to apnay aap ki bhi na suno
3. Try to master oneself rather than fortune, and change one's own desires rather than the order of the world…. Kabil bano.. paisa jhaak maar kay peechay aaye ga…
4. Review the various professions and chose the best…. Sir jee! Aye riski hai!

You know what, you can always grow old, let the time pass by, an maybe nothing will change, but remember… be cool! Look at Jack Nicholson, he is still awesome!! I mean, just google him and look at him!!

P.s. hansna mat bhoolo … hans kay geo, mazay mein geo, geo ki hidayat ki dua maag kay geo!!

Vapourizing aur Vele!

I am having a feeling, for procrastination and desk-hinged-legs-laziness. I basically have driven the genuine ability to concentrate, out of my account. Thus, there is massive space for the love of ‘creative output’. But as long as I weld my strong self to such trivialities, I would only be dancing with my own good-for-nothing ex-MNA recital over a current political dilemma. And that my friends, is the ‘too much thinking and doing nothing’.
You know that life is fun when you are in medicine field. Endless shifts, constant pressure, force of karma lingering over your head, effort to benefit ratio being next to clean street and messed up sweeper, the frequent trashing from your supervisors and constant piling up of others workload on your shoulders. One can ask for nothing better. The cherry on top, no one says ‘thanks’ like forever and not even a single ounce of appreciation! Because those awesome things that I mentioned are part of my job!
Being almost half way down the road, you feel the wonderment of where the road is going. When I look at new born, the one thought that comes to my mind is, ‘how innocent, how pure, how free!’. There are endless prospects for newborns, for I, all grown up, the energy vapourizing every moment, more confused and insecure, like a boyfriend of a girl, who is totally in love and mothering, a cat! So its sad.
But I am single, and by default, like any other guy from Pakistan, desperate to get attention and hitched! And the only friends that I know or to be close to people, actually are the ones I have got properly in mud with, thoroughly dirty and ended up with two happy parties. Ironically most of them are from kindergarten and I hate my communication skills! DAMN!! My life is stuck… with my kind of dogs! Probably sometime at the end, I would be sitting with same pack, dirtier than ever! And certainly happier… which I wish would be due to having freedom from our wives, actually to hangout together.
AAAAHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! –howling dogs-
My attention span being of size of a politician’s ability to speak truth, has led me to be a blogger instead of a novelist. And my bad choice of metaphors has made me a sucker at it! So I am insincerely apologetic.  Since, I am leaving you high and drying… figuring out this post! I do appreciate your concern… KUDOS TO YOU!! adios amigo!!
p.s. here is a improvised line from a chick flick.. asi vele, sab vele, aah velaa ho ja ray!! Jeray aapay vele, oh vi sano vele kehday!!

Decade aur dunya

this is not any other day. its the end of 27 years of my life. and i dont really feel like celebrating it at an elite hangout place with a gorgeous looking girl, who could easy stimulate infatuation in ones blood pumper. today i am going to write what i have got from spending blood, sweat and pain, in those years opportunity, struggle and betrayal.
i believe that money is not important until its unavailability becomes a hurdle, love is not important if you learn to be objective and power is no use if one holds no knowledge to handle it. religion serves to ones own convenience and superstitions are simply your aunt's business.
i have been in atleast one near-death experience, did recognized the boredom quotient of my life. i have been dragged to limits of my emotional capacity and to the limits of my physical capacity. And there is no greater enemy of human being then one's own amine messengers.
the great tragedy in this part of the 3rd world is that parents are over-possessive, and government along with them does not believe on spending money on education of their children. for them its a waste. children, meanwhile are consumed in using anything but their brains and whine about their helplessness.  
much of this nation's collective behaviour is attributable to the rigorous decade post-millennium drenched in insecurity, lawlessness and economic turbulence, unfortunately, while surviving it we have become more harsh and less grateful. we badly need life. and it is highly unlikely we will have it.
to grow as a person, the person requires a longer attention span and hold on to 'nothing happens to me' mindset. believe me, nothing would make you better than you higher expectations shaken by your close-ones because getting kicked out of comfort zone is the real learning.
about black and white, and the shades of grey. truth is relative to circumstances, life is proportional to disbelief, and with all fundamentals clueless, theres unbelief and nihilism, then comes reality, whatever you may come to think of it...
if i say you can not be happy, you would not be surprised, thats nothing new. if i claim you 'can' be happy with your life, that my friend, is the news. my thoughts, precisely, what do you think, what grabs your attention. well whatever does, defines you! its that result of the test which can help you to know yourself. and in case you still think that i would tell the key to happiness... wait.. look around yourself.. you will see more poker-faces than happy ones... what does that tell you! Exactly!!
P.s. when fate hands us a lemon... lets try making some lemonade..
P.s.s. iss dunya mein insaan hee fitna aur farista hai, faraq sirf itna hai.. kay kis kay liye kiya hai...(in this world only human is the devil and the saviour, difference being, for whom one's who)

Humourlessness aur Himaat!

Writing is writing, you write and write. Least, is the amount of readership, that fades away like the people from the past. Par iss mein mera kaya kasoor hai! you know what, there was a time in my life when i was trying to be a, a slightly more, recognized writer. Par bhai ko koi publish hi nahi karta hai. I am like the guy who makes tea at the dhaaba and the crowds run off to coffee cafes... par ab dhaabay pay koun coffee piye ga, aur cafe kiun dhaabay walay say coffee banwaye gaye... its that simple.
I am not true liberal nor true conservative, least not at the current moment. Been there, and i have seen stuff! I am the guy you avoid listening to, when politics is discussed! I really sell coffee with pakoray.. its bad choice and i hold on to it! This is coming from someone who knows a little too much about addiction with mediocrity, although I have the utmost respect for people who make it big with there work. 
I am currently suffering from an acute case of humourlessness, so forgive me for the sugar-less coffee and spice-less pakoray.

We hate to feel threatened but we love thrillers. In pursuit of happiness, a soul has to collide with the harsh wave of obstacles in the way of our destiny. The handiest skill is to let go of the most loved elements of your life. If you survive still then maybe you are doing well.

Rattled by our fears on the constant basis is like facing the same dreaded fast bowler every time you go to open the innings. Now unless you learn to pull through and hit him for a few shots, you are not going to make it. You have to rise above the challenge, lose your fear… and show the f**ker, the door. That’s how we grow, that’s how we survive.

This world that we live in, the country whose citizen we are, the clans we are born in and the social circles we go by, they all have rules, strict laws .. orders that are not to be broken. But above all is the fact, you can do anything you like unless or until you get caught. This is the loophole, this is your risk factor. A chance you ‘need’ to take or you have to choose the life of a moral police.

So go out there and be risqué  ;)

P.s. aaj itni hi himaat thi likhanay ki… baraa hi koi risk liya hai... apna tou saans phool gaya hai.. –ironic life- -life is comedy of errors-

Bride aur baat!

Its about time that I realize that I am almost psychotic. Worse is the fact that I am In a position where the psychiatry consultants, inquire about the anti-psychotic cocktails that are on the menu. One shall not be in a position like this.

This season men buy lawn! With each piece you buy, an obligation is fulfilled, a token is paid, for every billboard that has not only view blocked the sky, but also our minds… with such beauty and class, no complaints… this summer, its going to be hot! –pun intended-

I love to write. But I am a bad writer. A writer who is not read often. 

But she waited! On that night she waited, the night … of her wedding.

Suddenly the ‘dilwalay dulhaniya’ stops … Hans Zimmers’s Jack Sparrow intoxicates the large speakers with its violins… He runs towards the bride, grabs her hand … and they take off from the scene… to happily ever after.. a life they wanted. A pirate’s life.

Two wrongs don’t make a right. Driving bad on the road, and getting in brawl with national thugs, e.g., spoilt man-child of landlord or born with a silver spoon-in-mouth son of a real estate mogul.

We all need something to distract us. If none distraction is to avail, we can be so genius enough, that we just might get hold of some common sense. Lord knows what realms can a human-with-commonsense can oust.  

P.s. short post... seedhi baat, no bakwaas... ZaidAliT kay baad ehsaas howa kay mujhe bhi sponsorship chahiye!! till then, please donate me some readers, share the blog and its posts...

Imagination aur intakhab!

I came across a very interesting inspcrition, while sittiing in a texan-cow-boy-themed restaurant. It went like this:
"Guns don't kill, but fathers with beautiful daughters do!"
Becoming single in recent past plus holding the current title of confused-to-mingle, this was a self-serving message and an important reminder.
Every now and then, in moments of weakness, when sight falls upon some gorgeous looking, glamourous female with glorious features, the dubious imagination of mine tend to take a sudden turn toward the peron-in-focus's gazetted hero... Her...OOO... papa jani!
- A man with big mustache (Gama Pehalvan) and thick eye brows (Captain Cook) holding a double barrel gun (Sean Connery's from the Rock) in his hands -
Hence before the flower of hope gets a chance to blossom up, I have it incinerated by my undertaker-of-an-imagination.
And friends, make no mistake, there was one girl in white shirt with blue jeans, wearing a cow-girl hat.
Alas! this is not to be a story where harry meets sally, but, a story of 'how to lose it in split of dad-struck imagination.
tou ab baal banaye kis kay liye...
But when I look around, I see a different breed of men, I see the ones who seem ignorant or worse, insensitive, to imagination induced fears, the perks of realism. I see hope in their perverted-look smiley faces and confidence in their ghastly ravaging glares.They have sensed. They have learned. They are the kominas of the town. I am not. I feel like a lost boy with no plan.
par harry ki sally say mulaqaat tou na howi, magar ginny us mohabat karti hai....
What I Think: "So much faith now relies on elegant shoulders of this talent-hunter of a girl. The one who sees me as the 'perfect' suitor(not shooter!) for her"... I know right!!?
-Foreva Alone!-
But I am not... Boys like me have overconfident mothers, who happen to overestimate their sons. According to mothers, the poor 'we' are suspected susceptible cases of 'severely suffering from a parasitic girlfriend'. And so, 'we' as the princes of our majestic Queens, need constant observation and counseling to scare away the demons of the girl. Therefore, rises the Great-grand phenomena of the 'Saas'
- The equally scary version of Gama Pehalvan/Captain Cook/Sean Connery's double barrel gun holding dad of your crush-
P.s. saas bahu ho ya susaar damaad...
      iss masharay mein hai bohat say khoulay tazaad... 
      tou ho koi larki ya larka... 
      souch samaj kar karay intakhab...

Nation aur Nafrat!

A girl goes up to the Drugstore, and asks for a loaded gun. Upon inquisition she reveals that she is suffering from a bad case of rishta-walas. So, in order to recover from the ordeal, the quick fix she believes is... shooting the menace!
Bachelor ki tou life haram hai!
This 'good' forsaken nation of newly-weds, seems to be obsessed with marriages and obese-due-to-walimas. Every time one drives at evening, all you find is flower-pasted luxury cars. Queues of motor-cads  with hazard mode on... is it not the ultimate irony?
Well to tell you the truth, there is nothing more from my end on nuptials... the thoughts have bled and I feel better.
Here, in this big town, with big people and even bigger egos ... with biggest insecurities, when in all the day's work ends, what one really wants is to avoid slightest of talks with the most irritating individuals living in nearest of vicinities.
Yar, kash iss kay moun na lagna parta! saray mood ka satiya naas kar diya hai!
This person of diabolical personality, can be anyone, your relative, colleague, next door neighbour, kin, landlord, or even the watchman. It may either depend on the certain disposition you are in at that certain moment. But for those who bother us to such height of excruciating madness, we have a cunning plan....
Bhaarh mein jayee! -to hell with ________ (the person in focus)-
No love casket is full enough for you, to tolerate the f**ker!
Guys! Guys! Guys! what I feel is that we are past that age of eating burgers! Kfc(insulting to the race of burgers), McDonald, Hardees, Fat Burger, Johnny Rockets, Burger King... they all are mediocre prehistorice! Pizza is in fashion and passion! and i am not talking about that piece of s**T the bakeries sold you before the arrival of Pizza hut!
Thing is if your mother, wife or sister... or father, husband or brother.. in case... cooks something you don't like, put some sauce of tomato and a slice of cheese on the meal and VIOLA! its an eatable! that is what the legend of pizza taught me! You know what ... take that as a tip of the day for me!
Inspiration! Inspiration! Inspiration! we watch movies, go out to places, spend money on things... even ruin weekends on cricket! but if its not there... where is it!?? Well.... in a cup of tea! the fuel that is actually running this country, from offices to roads... and LEGALLY!
IS...Tough! Tough! Tough! a life of newly-out-of-university is tough! just the look at your newly out paycheck breaks the dreams out of your heart! unless you are anointed! then you have profits!
My friends life is as long as we live... is it not!? unless you are a political leader! then life is as long as you are in assembly or senate(If you have a lot of money in the bank!) ... if you can read, then try reading literature and not people, especially not with an empty stomach... it can cause ulcerative socialitis... a disease has not found its cure yet!
p.s. iss dunya mein, itna pyar karnay wala tum par nazar nahi rakhta, jitna nafrat karnay wala rakhta hai! hatred kills... stay safe!

Destiny aur darakth!

We are a part of unique mix of surrealism. Metropolitan city is a bittersweet love. It offers you a belief, a dream and an opportunity. Yet it takes away your breath after a roller coaster ride at the end of each day. Suddenly you find yourself alien to every last bit of inspiration, like a self-actualized rat on a mill run… and tired to the bones. This is the time when metaphors are lived, and sadly the ones we dread the most.

We are the melting of ice into its own water. Wait…. Evaporation is coming next! But my friend, when you lose everything in your life, you are free from everything, like the solid ice that is bound to the land and when it loses its bonds… its flies off to the sky in shape of vapors… in a way defying gravity. That probably is the true destiny, as you know what they say… sky is the limit, they are not wrong!

Khudi ko kar buland itna, kay khuda banday say khud pouchay

Tu charr to gaya hai darakth pay, bataa ab utray ga kaisay neechay!

So my friend, love sucks, everybody lies… and HOUSE ROCKS!! And life is filled with catch-22s.

Jokes aside… You are technically stuck in a stress-test that you just cannot opt out of. Unless you don’t take stress…if you can accept every challenge that comes your way, understand that there are things you don’t have control over and that you have do what is right, then, you might find, yourself! at some corner in your life.

Learn from yourself, it might lead you to the pattern of your fragments and also from others, as we are one big clan of human race with same built similarities.

Ever wondered that a rich man will have his luggage picked up at a five star hotel and 2 hours later, will be picking weights in the gym. Why we are ever-ready to put our impulsive, inelegant utterances, which in retrospect were kept safe, posted out for public interpretation. You would see such oddities here and there, and they sadly they are neither unnoticed for brute denial. Are we not on a course-collision with self contradictory behaviours at default???

The point being, until we improvise on the world that is around us, we will have least or none, whatsoever force to change the circumstances that arise or nay I say, how they arise…. Just as the arrhythmic heartbeat of ours.

As for the valentines, try to sacrifice before you love. One cannot thief away love without giving up something. Though, one thing that is true is, love birds are the most selfish creatures in the world… a world where only they exist. CATCH – 22… don’t know, why can’t we hear what we don’t understand.

p.s. to the struggling peers of today… a food for thought…. bahi agar zindagi mein‘taraki’ sirf aram, saqoon, or aman mein rehanay ka naam hai, tou kabhi chirya-ghar kay aur jungle kay janwaro ka souchna ….