Monday, January 16, 2017

Smoker aur Sotay!

The government is pondering upon banning cigarettes for the humans born after 2015, though in Russia, but imagine if it was this land of the pure, in its place. Well, cocaine, marijuana, charash, amphetamine and alcohol, are already banned in this land of the pure, but ubiquitous in schools and universities of Islamabad(my government says). What I foresee is, 25 years from now, the apex committee of this country will be discussing the underground mafia selling cigarettes in a top university. Some Professor, nay I say, has had a stock of old tobacco, unadulterated and high nicotine content $#!^, saved up for this time since 2017. The pile gets raided.
Probably, this is ruining our generation, and this downfall of our country is attributed to it. The 50 year old syllabus, instrument-less labs and 0.1% budget allocated to education has nothing to do with the ever falling standards, the ministry is very serious about monitoring these standards, while 10 more universities have been banned. What a bright future there is in this land of pure.
The kids will not know about the legend of Shoaib Akhtar, but they will feel they do know, how it is like standing on a pitch, wearing no protection, facing the world's own fastest bowler running towards oneself, to beat one's eggs. Ahhh! them feels. No jobs, no economy, no future and high competition. Love will definitely be having a hard time to survive. Social media bomb will have exploded by then.
But lets come back to the present!
I am a threatened specie, a left wing male who writes satire on this blog, yet I shall say a saulah anay ki baat, without fearing for my life. Ever since I have taken up consciousness in this country, I have been told by 'my government' what is right and what is wrong. Not to mention, my government has always wanted me to believe that its survival was my survival. My government was the only thing that can build a future for me, and still is, according to it. The economy drives and multi-national projects, its taking up will change everything in future.
Yani zamana aisay badlay ga, keh, jo bolo gay, millay ga! jaisay sala, sab kuch apnay baap ka maal ho!(Meaning, the times will change like, you will get whatever you can wish for, as if its your daddy's)
Yet, no matter, what they did, how they did it, nothing was like it was as if, my daddy's.
Cigarettes are part of an industry that has been covered very well for most of the time in this world, ever since its conception. Placing tax on it was not to discourage the smoker, but to get the portion of the profits, similar to the tax you have on your salary, in the name of 'income tax'. Whether, it should be banned or not. I wont go into that discussion, every person for oneself, if you hate it don't use it, if you like it, use it, don't abuse it! Please! it can kill, like every other thing in this life of yours!
What I wish to remind, is of the hypocrisy of my government, and every other government, and its tendency to curb public enthusiasm, when an element is not profiteering in the right way.
Nonetheless, it will be interesting to see such a ban, when there are billions at stake, with thousands of jobs, export and import plus advertising. This can, definitely change the world we have came in to, if the ban ever happens, though, it will make no difference.
P.s.  ay ta'ir-e-lahooti uss sotay say pizza acha,
jis sotay say na ati ho qoumi kazanay mein kamaii.
(oh heavenly bird, a pizza is better than a cigarette, 
a cigarette that does not fills belly of national treasury)

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