Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Biosafety aur Bimaar!


First Information Report for the desk of Intellectual Police Station biosafety branch subcontinent.

Recently an increasing spread has been observed of an endemic. The highly contagious strain of multi-book resistant Inferiomonas complexia,and Superiomonas complexia is spreading in full swing, yet again in the local population. The symptoms from the prevalence of this infectious disease are, holding of core desi clich├ęs as personal views, such as

  • If a woman is 30 or a man is 36, and unmarried! They have wasted human machinery and not served one sole purpose of their life!
  • A girl is born to cook, clean, get a rich husband, 4 kids! Repeat!
  • Real man does not use lotion.
  • Mard ko dard nahi hota!
  • Sab contrupt hai, bas aik hum theek hai
  • Conspiracy, Conspiracy, Conspiracy, the world is conspiring against our holy cow of a tradition.
  • Meray saat bohat nainsafi howi hai!
  • Yeh sab paisay ki game hai!
  • Piece bara tait hai!
  • Aslam sahab jaisa bara sa bangla hona zarori hai, iss liye apnay bachoun ko sarkari school mein parha kar bachat karo
  • Yaar uski/uska dosti kitni/kitna HOT hai!! 'kash!?' makes a mental note
  • That peon's son must be so jealous of my 21 grade father's fortune and fate!
  • Agar uss nay Agha Noor say aik jora liya hai to mein dou lou gi
  • I am praise worthy, worship me when at rest and applaud me when in action Etc..

The predisposing factors include a well read English medium educated masters degree holding human, of whom education was not able to disconcert the desi patriotic-ky pessimism. Differential diagnosis include two faced person syndrome, dual standarhiea, and snake feel. Currently, there are no available indigenous treatment guidelines and there is an unavailability of cure, too. Thus, one with a sane mind and a bright future should practice preventive measures by staying out of the reach of such super bugs. You can encounter such a case, at home as well as abroad, so be careful and stay safe. 

p.s. so jahan bhi aisa bimaar insan millay.... wahan say zinda bhaag jao! Because, though, you can’t always get what you want, but you definitely can get Inferiomonas complexia or Superiomonas complexia, even if you don’t want to.

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