Saturday, November 26, 2016

Idiot aur Idhar!

You know that real feeling, when you feel like an idiot. To do what you should not do but you got to do it. YOU HATE IT! BUT YOU GOT TO DO IT!

It is an existential question, am I alive?  If yes then what is it to be alive, like? Is it the struggles in life or the individual moments that matter more? For me, I am not sure. I don't know what living a life is like. The things people talk about living the life to the fullest, seem like an alien concept. I know, I live in this "world" that is shared with 6 or 7 billion people, and if there is a fate that's hanging in balance then its not just mine. I like to read but pessimistically speaking it does not fill the stomach. More or less, what we ever achieve in our life is more to do with the opportunities we get. Though, the innuendo of choosing between living or struggling is an ambiguous turn of events. The world out there, perceives you by its own standards and I mean people! They can add any adjective to your personality and you can be sensitive about it. Or you can just be sensitive to extension of your own invention, like I am, as in what kind of a son was I suppose to be for my parents? what kind of a profession or class was I suppose to attain for my dreaming childhood?

The other aspect to life is self expression and recognition. By hook or crook, now that you are in this world, what am I suppose to do? Its a little complex from where I see it all. You can either start out as a creative person with inhibitions and impulse, or you can be a follower of the status quo, more like, go with the flow. Though, realistically its a combination of both in bits and pieces. If you are lucky, you can be pragmatic enough to do the right things at the right time.

The major hindrance in the community that I live is, there is no real self-conscience! much of this can be attributed to the competition of overpopulated society where everyone is pushing off the waves so that they, perceptibly, do not sink like a stone. And there is some real lack of intellectual empathy. You have here, basically whats considered as a metaphorical herd of sheep. I myself am clueless, of how to 'be' in this community and thus, truly feel like an idiot! And much of want I do, is mostly what I hate!

Apparently, idhar ka locha hi kuch aur hai! life will end, but truth will be what no one can comprehend.

P.s. So on this lovely Sunday morning, I am leaving you with my creative output and something from truck art, explaining providence destiny, making me feel like an even bigger idiot sitting idhar...
na koi kisi say durr hota hai na koi kisi kay kareeb hota hai
pyar khud chal kar ata jab koi kisi ka naseeb hota hai

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