Ball aur Bablo

11 May aka the judge’s day out with election commission, which had millions of young women and men trying to determine the direction of PTI in domestic policies to ensure their family’s rich survival and years as burgers. Either Imran Khan or Nawaz Sharif, whoever wins the much anticipated friendly match for the given day till this government remains.
With average age of marriage for men rising to 29 – making a more desperate edition of the lovelorns  and women to 23 – making a more desperate edition of not-so-impressed. One of the major factors contributing to this, including greater pressure for keeping up with your mother’s wish and near completion of degree in Zalalaat(Hons).

Now over 20 million of reckless are torchbearers to strengthen the institution of marriage and foremost, family…. aur bablo! Government that forms this summer has to envision this snow ball that’s going to come on, along with bablo(s)!

The first six points that a sincere-to-youth government has to look at are these:

1.      Income

There is nothing more important for a young aspiring couple than a stable source of income. Now government should either create 10 million jobs in next 2 to 3 years or facilitate small businesses improvised by these young men and women that can not only empower them but also strengthen economy and create further jobs. Because paisay ho gaye to bablo is gonna land on earth ji! waisay to bablo bagair paisay kay bhi aah jata hai, par uss say masla bara hota hai!

2.       Health

Facilities in hospital should be improved on emergency bases. The latest diagnostic technology should be ensured in every hospital that should be provide free of cost diagnostic tests. Quality child birth facility should be ensured in every government hospital to not only save the life of the child but also the mother. Warna bablo ki aaj ki sehat ka kal qoum ki sehat par bora asar paray ga!

3.       Education for Children

Major Concern for any young couple is education of their children. Education, as we all know, is very expensive even at the level of toddlers. This is a financial pressure that is not justified for a family that is trying to hold its ground in the starting. So, free and quality education in government schools should not only be ensured with highest possible education budget but steps should also be taken to have one system of education placed in entire country to eliminate the current existing classes of education(rich to poor). Because bablo private schoolou mein iss blog kay writer ki tarha kharab ho jaye ga!

4.       Brainstorming

Like America, Pakistan should not have an ‘slightly spoiled American Dream’, where the young is focusing on the luxurious life. We are not a developed country and excessive expenditure on luxury items is simply going to add burden to list of bills. Nation building should involve brainstorming of the sort in which a simple and articulate life style is promoted. This will not only give raise to a happy family but a happier community. Because bablo is not to be brought up like a Barbie but like a dexterous brainiac!

5.       Food

Pakistan is an agricultural economy but nonetheless here is where the government should implement lower taxation as well. The lowering of food prices is necessary for developing a healthier generation. Malnutrition is a key challenge, and this should be dealt on priority basis. Protein food should get maximum subsidies. Kiun kay bablo khaaye ga nahi tou bara kaisay hoga!?!!

6.       Shelter

Real estate is forecasted to boom in this country. But the rising prices are only going to add up as a pain for millions dreaming to attain a cover for ones’ own family. Now either government could repeat the affordable flat scheme that was once launched in 90s in Islamabad or control the cost of real estate. Government should work on rent control and facilitating lower and middle income housing, before its too late! Par iss ka bablo say koi tahloq nahi!!

At the end let me remind my government of section 35 of the constitution of Pakistan – ‘the state shall protect the marriage, the family, the mother and the child.’

P.S. BABLO ZINDABAD!! :D

kids aur khaandan

Warning: the following blog post is a public awareness message!
even in one's wildest dreams, one is least probable to dream a 5 year old running a bull cart!
i saw that happen!! and i was not in spain or mexico... but in the very own, city of the saints situated in the land of the pure.
kids in this city are truly gifted with exceptional super powers. they can make you smile, cry and super angry! all at the same time. with gross sledges, cunning statements and innocent eyes, these agents of mankind's survival are the best of their kidkind.
we do think at times that its hard to handle kids, least i do, but at the same time having kids in your family is a sign of continuity of race, caste and creed, making it worth the effort. In long run, though, leading to the formation of cults and prejudice for each one e.g. arain, jatt, gujjar, rajput, awan etc, each with the weirdest mode of khandaani bonding.
but kids are what you transfer to them in terms of manners and attitude, in terms of education and grooming, not just genes.
living in a stressful society where the fertility rate is falling down like stocks of peace in international wartime stock-exchange, one has to look beyond the conventional beliefs. married couples without a child, should adopt underprivileged and orphan kids who can equally be the true agents of happiness. these kids have more radiating happy genes in them then those who trouble their marriage on the bases of fertility and not to speak the gender of kid as well. the time has come that the society balances its act and embraces life! Welcome to the modern world!

Darts aur dhaakay

Now the fact of the matter is – in your final year of undergrad in university, you are burned out, drained and have absolute no taste of fun. The only thing that nearly qualifies as fun is a free lecture!

After getting done with the weeks routine of restlorn days I embarked on a hangout with similarly worn out   traveler from a far away land. We started off with intellect drown journey in the city of saints. But was not far from its inevitable end. The intellect nowadays is not in fashion here.

We entered in a pizza restaurant in prospectively MM Alam road of this city. We look around and try finding a peaceful corner to continue a critical dilemma. When we found a seemingly deserted end. We settled down. Viola! Right when he placed his laptop on the table, we hear that the far end of the section is occupied by teenagers!

And right after that disappointment, we are further disturbed by the receptionist in a 'you-londas-get out- of- here' manner! Now what the heck went wrong. No reservation sign. No intimation to us when we entered that site. And how rude!

The traveler got agitated and refused to leave his ground!

The next we know. The manager of this reputed chain of restaurants arrives and offers a much due apology and clarifies that the birthday party is not be crashed by even decent bloke! Because the teenagers are what happens to be – ‘females’ and we are in the city of saints!

Thankyou but no thank you. We get off and settle in a more culturally acceptable location to have a go at darts and try to hit the bull’s eye.

Dhaakay dey kar nikalata hai yeh muvashra intellects ko!!

-this society  kicks intellects out of it- and with pleasure . 

There are things that have not changed even after so much of development in the town...

Lustful aur Lota

So apparently 20 year old lads want to know the girl’s name, 25 year old guys want to know who is her dad and 30 year old men want to know the mother-in-law… and the 45 year old uncles…. Well they just want attention!

While we live with an America, where good for nothing self-hired money boosters for the rich called hedge fund managers make billions, and, a Harvard economics Professor with a Nobel Prize, does not even make a 0.0001% of that!

While that happens there…. In Pakistan, apparently every open ended joke among lads ends with a metaphorical sausage revelation. And to the better end of that you never get to have an intellectual discussion with your mates. Shortcomings of locker-room talks!

We live in a dog eat dog world, and that’s why if your pedigree is top class and your ken is world class. You land as a better dog. To know whose who and whats what, your mamas chachas will take care of it. As for making it to the next level, you would have a bull dog reference to get the job. Competence comes second and connections come first, when you have a gold strap around the neck.

This Summer’s bye elections in NA-151 sort of depicted the real picture of democracy. Not that its too profound in this town but does not fail to represent its people. An election that was contested among ten candidates for the national assembly seat, the result was bitter sweet. 

While we are left flabbergasted … people who are more important – the Politicians, they are having fun. One year ago there was a surge of working politician to desert their own parties to ally themselves with a new immerging  Imran Khan. But this seemingly, revolutionary moral type casted tsunami tends to tide back to its cradle.

Imran Khan has become a nuisance for the PMLs and PPP. The ‘jiyaalas’ who previously were hell bent on sticking to their wings, right or left, as case may be, had been stuck in their party for no good. Previously if they were dictated and ignored in parent party, leaving them to be assembly back-benchers, retired politicians or outcast workers, PTI gave them a common ground to slightly bend their principles. Neither would they be a peoplaah nor would be ranted as leaguey, in so and so.

Finally!! now they can get a place of their significance. But not in PTI but the parent party! Well what happening is that now the Sharifs, Chaudaries and Zardaris are ‘compromising’ with them and requesting them for a comeback at the eve of the elections. Thus, leading to a desertion campaign within PTI.

Kiun kay subah ka bhula shaam ko wapis ah jaye tou ussay bhula nahi kehtay

Aur yeh..

Kiun kay lota humeysha lota hi rehta hai!!

Waisay... None of the leading Politicians from the City of Saints aur uss kay muzafaat say, seem left out of the race! Keeping it real, making us PROUD :D -pun intended-

Fruit aur Falsafa

Dear readers, its been a long time. Real long time.

Well to justify I would say this… it was my testing of the year.

Usually I tend to have a different style of explaining things, but this time I shall share an inspiring story(specially in the current phase of examination). A very different way of how other living being make lemonade out of the lemons they get!

I came to know of a specter that nature holds. The instinct that the Lord has instilled the living cells. To grow and survive.

As many of the inhabitants of the city of saints must know, mangoes don’t grow overnight. Even if you buy a new born orchard, still it would take 5 to 7 years to make something for itself.

But here is a story that metaphorically tells us more about the world than anything.

Narrated in the words of a wise and content man…

‘you know sir, when a man is ill, he knows if hes going to recover or hes going to die. He can weigh his resolve and passion for life in balance. If the external forces to fight against, and the illness within hallows you up. You know its time!’

‘but yesterday I saw it in a mango plant. It was merely of the height of your knee. While being deprived off from water and fertilizer, the plant was weak. And from where I saw, the plant knew it was dying.

Though, there was something unusual. I was holding a mango!

A tree trice its size wont hold a mango, sir. But it did. Do you know why?

Well here is the thing. When the plant knew that its growth is not possible anymore in the given resource, it came under stress. The only thing that was left for it was…. survival. The will that the lord has us all have. That last and the only fruit of that plant was its only try for the survival of its race!’

And that, my friends, is the ultimate raw fruit of falsafa(philosophy).

Marriage aur Media

BAOOOOWWWWWWWWWW! Its time for the princesses and princes to get married…. AAAAAOOOWWWWW!

Marriage issues in the city of saints! The town of historic clans! The region of tradition! Oh boy! Its scrutiny time…

Unlike in develop world, we here in –lord knows well- land of landlords.. go with a different approach… bride and groom are like the last thing on the table.. first the current house-in-hold NAB(nosy assessment batch) checks the other party’s ‘social’ balance… then the size of ‘growth’ on grounds which one ‘owns’ responsibly…

The second use to come first ….  Long time ago! But still it counts… the name is … BRADARI! Nowadays there may be lot of baggage on the shoulders of bradari-bros to let the ties.. prevail… thou shall.. if you don’t share the clan… dude… it better be legit!!!  ;)

Third and the most touchy point… BELIEF! Like seriously… a country where it’s a norm with consensus of public… ‘iss qoum ka koi deen imaan nahi hai’ even then… the in-laws have to be from same house of LORD as they(NAB) are! Or else they(NAB) are damn for life in their own clan … but be sure the clan eats the walima first… chicken improves rant and abuse capacity! And a mess is the metaphorical perfection

Now in all this … the reason of all the crap fest… the couple… they are insignificants none care! Now the future of the nation.. and set priorities in a nutshell… whose opportunity and who avails… the means become the irony and aims…. But even think about them… they are lost somewhere far far away… from the land of ethics or religion.. HOLY MATRIMONY! :P

Now talking of the ethics….. ahem!                                

In terms of the stuff that going on the media.. and the courts of courts… times are coming when you would look are the person standing next to you and ask humbly.. yar aap shareef tou nahi hou.. (not to question sharaafat or the popular centre right politician) still the same thing ji!

The catharsis of nation is somewhat jeopardized by dark times of desperate media. The media first makes a hero, superficially, then destroys every bit of the character on the first possible turn of regretful event. The person is screwed and you are dumbstruck. Lesson learned… even for once you can not trust anyone. And by the end of the roller coaster ride, you realize that everything that comes on media is bullsh*t!

Judicial activism or political attention leading to political action… are being nothing but counter productive. One day the nation gets defamed for killing of four wedding dancers and the next they are resurrected after judicial notice and political action, but none out there to reinstate the retro. And absurdity is limitless… who knows after the actively forced celebration of environment day in Punjab the chief minister might be just distributing eco friendly hundred thousand laptops this fall… ones which are better disposed!

and here I sit… its oblivion …. Wondering about how in the world.. logic lose its track in English premier league and a team get to wash out its hope of leading the league to win… to one billion quid! :(

ps. i wish luck to all the sheda(s) applying for shadi with sheela(s)

Project aur perkachay

The following blog post is to serve for the better understanding of society while the blogger holds no responsibility

I am the student studying medicine. A naked health hazard! You value me for saving your life tomorrow, I rather pray you don’t become me sorrow. The best chance that you stay alive is if I switch fields or opt for a different career.

It all happened in the saint city, back in the sanity days. The unforgiving hot breezes in place of great character and fantasy land smacked me with a career in medicine. With delightful expression on parents faces and empty head in full of life soul, everything seemed perfect. With a remarkable shift from a private school to a state university…. Nothing could have been better than this!!

I embarked on the journey of ending a lifetime : ( … “project kawara” aka bachelors.

It started with the summers of saintly city. Not a good time to start anything. In a place where teacher initially seem ruder and seniors more kill-some! The frighten face of my batch seem least sorry for themselves then I was. We were good enough to throw a class mate on moon but could not get enough response from a girl in our class. Driven not by an artificial freedom from homeland these soon to turn “khawateen” were moved by the passion of saving their face and character!

Now 4 years onward they still loathe half of the paindu guys in class and themselves celebrate their paindu-ness by bunking extracurricular activity days to have a boring trip to abode. While the male paindooss roam around in the department in search of sighting some sasti be-eaou-Tes! And try to screw with each others mind while having respect for absolutely no one. As much of the enjoyable routine and local paindo thinks of it to be but still … shit every paindu says… “yar number nahi atay”. This leads to the TC “ON” teacher don(down)!! Spending hours with teachers back biting rival fellows and toeing the line with the given professor against his or her own nemesis. Quite a disgustful routine in itself.

The only problem is that there is no room for progress in this lackluster situation. Most of all with the degree term soon to end, things seem bleak on with the hindsight! And the future seems not so bright. BUT PROJECT KAWARA!!! Oh boy!! Its on the all time high!!! With anonymous people first accepting my add on facebook then blocking me, much criticized presentations and angry class representatives… this moment is second to no epicness!!

In tatters are the aspirations of this proposition of making the true medicine one! Alas, is your life any much less endangered… your safety and security lied in the unabridged version of project kawara… par ab tou perkachay urr gaye hai bahi… baat tou samaj gaye hogay aap ;D duwa karay :D

Goals aur Gamay

this is the untold story of the lost arch of the season. Rather it is the scene that should have had not happened in the changing room of old trafford stadium.
Fergie: how many of you have had experienced being in love. (everyone stared) seriously@ didnt anyone of you got it from the bitch (there was a look of approval on every face)
see there is this girl that you so want to have in your life and you so are fond of her that you spoiled brats even respect her for the matter that you go on to commit.
now you are the one of the most handsome prolific stud brigade in manchester, arent you lads!!! the girls keep coming on to you with that game you have, right lads! (smirks all over)
but many of you have got girlfriends even married(looking at wayne rooney) but for some reason its not enough!
but you have got to keep the woman of the house protected at the same time.
heres the story lads... those two goal posts you see at each end of the ground are like women.
you have to take care of them. one that is at home.... the bros on defense help eachother to keep out the jerks off the lady.
while with your wing men you go out there on the other end towards the striking beauty to score some goals. (giggs giggles) cuz that helps you build confidence over your swagger.
now thats what you are going to do when you lads go out there. keep safe your goal from the street junkies and have fun scoring goals at the free end of the pitch (chantings)

well this pep talk was of no use as the opposition went off to scoring 6 times and were the very own city junkies of manchester!
p.s. point to be noted... never ever imagine your goal post as chicks or women because they come and go... so better be like a gamay pehialwan to safe goals in dabangg istaiyl!!  and score!  instead of acting like, some insecure bunch of lads!