There is nothing glorious of a one sided love, its like you
tail a car in fog till bardast karta reh aur dusrou ko paas karnay daye… you
know it right then and there that they will never be part of your life and you
will one day see them siding with someone else for all the ‘other’ reasons
which they did not see in you. No matter how much they say it was not you or
the life was cruel to them for not letting you be part of their life, you will
still be alone and they will move on.
So inspite of how much pain it gives you, no matter how nice
or intellect you were, you never were what your love wanted. You have a fortune
of misfortune. No one will care of your loss, your family, friends or foes. It
was a storm that brewed in you and has torn everything apart. Love when
unfilled, stays with you longer and at times infinitely, hurts you.
So now while i sit in front of my laptop, I think of a reflex, a retrospect and a reminiscence of failure of hope, aspiration and a
dream. There will be no salvation, never or even worse, ever!
So even what when you said so, ‘survive’ a heart wreck , its not like
you become stronger or see within yourself a new you but instead, you see
smaller scars on the original scars that were deep and much more painful at
their original incursion. Its like you are getting hurt on maintenance level with a high potency
fear that was initially loaded on the first heart wreck.
Or may be you are living as partly accessory of someone’s
life, as their intrigue, in a world of your own imagination as love’s third
world citizen. Where your disparity is your food. Where your misery is your clothes. Where your sorrow is your shelter. You are Gatsby that never made it
to creating a fortune. There is no promised land of happiness for you.
On the end note, this is not eulogy but an ode, for alas,
the gravestone shall not only have one’s name on it but the list of heart wrecks that raged havoc time to time. If only ones who left during the storm would
ever visit and leave a mere flower for recognition of…
